Finally Seen. Pick me x Veronica

Fuck.

My alarm clock blares. Fuck, I think. The ringing thumps in my ears, causing my already major headache to swarm my brain. I slam down on the button, causing the machine to stop the noise. Thank God!

I get out of bed and feel nauseous. Hangover hits like a brick and smashes me into the ground. I don't dare get up until my vision unblurs and my nausea starts to subside. I feel like absolute shit, but I deserve that. I didn't have to cut myself and drink, but I chose to. I chose to do the thing that harmed me the most. I picked the easiest route to happiness and now I have more things to make me feel and look like shit. Maybe I am a bad person. Am... I the problem? Yes; I am. Not completely, but me being a little bitch desperate for attention got me into this mess. I am a little brat who deserves absolutely nothing.

I walk towards where I put down the bottle and pick it up. Where will I hide this? I hope mom doesn't notice that a bottle is gone. I walk back towards my bed and pick up the mattress, hiding the bottle underneath. This should do for now. I look towards my clock. It shows that the time is 6:31. Fuck! I quickly pick up some clothes. Bell bottom jeans and a sweater will work, right? I hope that its enough to hide my healing cuts and keep my from standing out; I don't have enough energy or time to be able to take a shower, so I just throw on clothes. I look down at my phone. 6:39. No time for food, I have to go before mom notices me here. I sneak out my window, hoping mom doesn't know I'm late leaving for school. Now I have to run to school just to be able to make it in time; just great....

I make sure everything is in my backpack, and I start running. Fuck today.

~~AT SCHOOL~~

I arrive at school, with a whole 2 minutes to get into class. My limbs are exhausted from running all the way to school, but I got to keep running. Who knows what mom will think if I'm late; what will my peers think? What will everyone think?! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I run full speed through the hallways, just stopping to catch my breath at the door, praying I made it in time. Just as I step into the classroom I look at the clock. I'm 2 minutes late... Fuck.

"Nice of you to join us Ms. Mel. You being late? That's a first." Mr. Micheals says, in a slight condescending voice. Fuck.. Fuck, Fuck, FUCK. I start to panic; I hyperventilate, sweat starting to form. It takes all the energy in me to hold all my emotions in and walk towards my desk and not embarrass myself. All I can do is not try to break down; It's so hard not to just let the tears spill, but I can't. Not yet.

I finally get to my desk after what feels like hours of walking. I know it only took a few seconds but trying to keep myself composed was incredibly difficult. It shouldn't have been difficult and I know that. I am so weak. I am a little bitch. These same thoughts swarm my brain over and over again as I reach down into my backpack to get out my notebook and pens. Thinking positive is not an option. As I bend down towards my backpack all I can feel is eyes. Everyone is staring at me, I know it. They're waiting for me to mess up so they can all laugh. They're waiting for me to break down; they know what bubbling under the surface, and they want it to come out. They know their stares are working and I feel the tears start to push at my eyes, begging to come out. I can't do this. What are they thinking? Are they judging? Why are they watching? What are they planning? They know I'm weak. They see right through me.

I put down the supplies on my desk. I try to watch the lesson, but my head swarms and my eyes go blurry. Mr. Micheals's words are just a mush of sounds and noises. They don't make any sense and I don't understand. Is he judging me? Why can't I focus?! It all just becomes too much. I'm failing life and I can't do this right now. I set my head down, and cry.

...

That's when I get poked on the back of my neck. Oh shit! What do they want? Do they know everything?! Do they know my secrets? This makes everything worse; I can't deal with this right now.

"Hey, you okay Pat?" someone whispers. Their voice is so calming and nice, I could sink into it for the rest of eternity. This persons whispers soothes my ears and makes me feel like I'll somehow be okay. That's when I think about it. Who whispered that? I remember. Veronica, the whore. Fuck.

"Do you need to talk?" she whispers right into my ears. Even though I know whos whispering it the voice still sounds so... nice. I love the way it twirls in my brain, making everything seem okay to me. I know I have to respond, so I wipe my tears and turn slightly, making sure she'll be able to hear me.

"I'm... okay. Thanks for asking." I murmur, hoping my tone is believable enough.

"Don't lie to me P, I know you well enough to know when you're lying." Fuck. She looked right through me;

"Hey, no need to respond, okay? Just meet me in the girls restroom after class. We can talk then." I turn back enough to look her in the face. She is giving me a slight reassuring smile and it makes me blush slightly. She cares?! She likes me enough to care when I'm upset. I think I'll believe her, just this time.

"Ya. See you there." 

Fuck.