The Immeasurable Marauder

Rumours

I did manage to get about two hours sleep before it became impossible to keep my eyes closed for one more minute. Mary was prone to waking up early these days, and, unlike normal people, found it impossible to entertain herself for more than a few minutes before she began sighing loudly to herself, rustling the blankets and walking around the room, stomping her feet. I don't think she did it consciously but she always made so much noise all of us eventually ended waking up. I rolled over exhausted.

"Lord Mary! The one morning I actually need to sleep late." I said uncharacteristically grumpily.

"Oh good! You're up!" She said happily. "Oh and look, so is Lily." Lily was glaring at her while Alice covered her head with her blanket.

"So..." Mary said leadingly coming to sit at the edge of my bed in her blue pyjamas.

"So what?" I said punching my pillows aggressively to fluff them.

"So what she asks?" She said scoffing at me. "What did Sirius have to say?"

I looked at Mary waiting there eagerly and Lily and Alice sitting in their cots waiting for me. There were so many parts of the story that weren't mine to tell. What happened to Severus, what Sirius did, what Remus was. I didn't have a right to tell those parts of the story. So instead I tried to craftily skip around those parts I couldn't tell. I don't think the girls noticed they were way too caught up in the love triangle to notice the holes in the story. I did also leave out the part about Sirius telling me he loved me. I wasn't ready to dissect that particular aspect of the story. 

Besides, it felt far too intimate to just go blurting out carelessly. Especially after I had spent what little sleep I had dreaming about him.

After a lengthy conversation we all went to breakfast but I was still beyond moody. I was trying to keep it together because the girls didn't deserve my temper but I was seriously sleep deprived and seriously confused. I knew I couldn't be with Sirius, not after what he had done but those things he had said and how I felt when he said them, when he held me in his arms... The feeling of sadness from the night before hadn't dissipated but rather magnified dangerously. I was so happy when I was with Severus before but now I was unsure. I knew rationally which would be the best choice to make but there was something inside me saying that there may be something more to look out for.

I let the girls walk into the Great Hall before me for breakfast when I felt a strong hand clasp my arm. I turned to see Sirius, his face severe. My heart started to beat erratically and I felt a little hot under the collar.

"Yves." he said, his voice grave.

"Sirius." I said trying to be nonchalant.

"Something has happened. Someone has been telling your secrets."

"What are you talking about?" My stomach tightened uncomfortably.

"Don't look around love," He said stepping a little closer, "everyone is staring at you. Come with me."

"What secret Sirius?" I asked in a whisper before I decided what to do.