An Eye For A Heart (Naruto Reader-Insert)

Demon (Part 2)

      I look the same, you think.

        Your reflection on your bedroom's body mirror tells you so.

        Same hair, same eyes, same coloring. You've grown taller, older (still younger)... but there's still something missing. You don't think you'll ever find what you're looking for.

        You don't have my freckles, I cackle, half-hysterical and half-relieved.

~*~*~

        Meditation has always been your favorite training session, as it helps you compartmentalize your thoughts, practice your chakra-control, stretch your chakra-sensing range, test your environmental awareness, and overall exercise minimal multitasking. It's the least taxing training routine and the closest thing you have to sleeping without your unorthodox methods of passing out.

        It's easy to lose yourself to the calm most of the time. To relax and forget, even if only temporarily.

        Unfortunately, today is not that time.

        Your stupid ass is trying to convince you that Shisui is nothing more than a fling– that it's just a hormonal crush that will fade away in time and that you're only indulging yourself with a kind of affection you never experienced before; that you owe him this at the very least. Maybe they were once true, maybe they still held a grain of truth, but now...

        Can't believe I thought I could gaslight myself into thinking that I don't love the guy, when I can barely gaslight myself into thinking I'm not depressed, you sarcastically grouch to yourself.

        What the hell do you see in him anyway? He's literally just some dude– some overrated dude who's currently living his life too fast for his own good.

        (He has to, when his life– all your lives are so short. Good shinobi wouldn't expect anything else.)

        Sure, you find his kind eyes and patient smiles charming, but it's not like he's the only person with those attributes. You don't doubt that you'll find someone else in this short life of yours if you search hard enough– hell, maybe even someone better, so...

        Why are you so hesitant to let him go?

        (You already know the answer to that.)

        ... Perhaps, it's not too late to make some adjustments.

        (You can hurt yourself a little more, tear another piece of your heart. For the people you love, you would. It's a set precedent that will follow you throughout lifetimes.)

        Your chakra-coated knees unfailingly keep you afloat on your artificial– made with a C-rank water jutsu– pond, as your relaxed seiza position turns rigid, your brows now furrowed in concentration. You get lost in your train of thoughts, mind whirring with a familiar frenzy in thinking of alternative scenarios, and their possible benefits and consequences, your meditation training long forgotten.

        Too distracted pondering over your hypothetical contingencies, you barely dodge a stray kunai to your right, the suddenness snapping you out of your focus. With an undignified yelp, your chakra stutters and you gracelessly fall into the shallow pond, drenching your clothes from the neck-down.

        Childish laughter abruptly echoes within the underground cave, as you blink in bewilderment, turning to face the direction of where the projectile came from.

        "I-I– Sorry! It bounced o-on a rock and– y-you just– snrk!" Sasuke snorts as he struggles to contain his glee at your probably dumbstruck face.