Book of Short Stories and Poems

Poem: Untitled *Mentions of HOMOPHOBIA*

I listen to their words,
Their scoldings, their homophobia
And their whispers as I walk by.
My mother asking
"Do you like boys?"
And saying hurtful things about the community...
My community,
The people who made me feel valid and loved.

I lied to keep my life and the love
I'd received so little of in my childhood
While I lost my sanity in the confusion that was
Or is my sexuality.
It felt like a fair trade
Or so I thought.
One day I was attracted to guys
And the next a girl.
I couldn't stand looking at myself
Cause of what I was taught
By homophobic and religious personas.
"God hates f slurs, dykes and dirty people"
"God hates me?" I cried.
"No, he doesn't hate us" she whispered.

I heard a relative ask what
mother would do
If I was one of those 'dirty people'.
My mother looked me full in the eye
And said
"There's nothing God can't fix, if the church can't help her I'll..."

Thus I returned to my world of self hatred
And denial
To play the role I was predestined to play
Hiding myself from the danger in my house
Never to be seen again.

But I'd like to know
Dear mother,
Would it hurt if you knew
Your daughter is bi?