Matryoshka Doll - NoRenMin ✔︎

Chapter 15

The days following that night were quite interesting to say the least.

It had somehow ended up being a silent agreement that Renjun could kiss Jeno whenever he wanted and he did.

After a shower? Yes.

In the middle of a hall? Yes.

As they got dressed for bed? Yes.

In the dead of night? Yes.

As a good morning? Yes.

In front of Na Jaemin? No.

They did everywhere and anywhere but not if Jaemin was around. Things like kisses would evolve and sometimes, if they were feeling a little antsy and restrained, light hickeys would scatter over their necks and shoulders which wasn't a problem considering their turtleneck uniform did wonders to help them through life. And things like that were also hidden from the caramel haired person.

But they teased him. They simply pretended to be oblivious to the fact that Jaemin liked two males and it was more than likely them. Come on, there was no one else he was ever with and if he was, he'd always try getting out of their presence if their company went past ten minutes. In all honesty, they were flattered to know that.

It was little things like touching his hand when it trailed close to one of them or resting a hand on his thigh if he sat close enough. Sometimes it was brushing his hair out of his eyes or hugging him when he wanted to cry over Math. Jaemin was being treated differently and he too, unknowingly, began getting softer with them. He'd treat them lovingly and smile brightly. His heart had given itself away in two equal parts.

But then he found himself feeling guiltier and guiltier as time passed. It was a Sunday evening, no studying for them so that meant he was left alone to his own daydreams. He couldn't bear it anymore. His conscience had to remind him that he had mistreated the two in such severity that he even had felt repulsed by them when they were so sweet. He felt his insides rumble in displeasure and scold him, strangling him from inside as he reminded himself that not once had they done anything to intentionally hurt him.

Yeah, Renjun had been quite rude at first but it was only in action and not in physical or verbal ways. But over time, he softened and had even come to the point where a hand had settled on Jaemin's thigh.

Jaemin involuntarily blushed a light red, remembering the time where the two were trying to look at a book in front of Jaemin and that day, for some reason, they were both sitting on either side of him where they rested a hand on the thigh closest to them. The contact had made him turn hot all over and even thinking of it made butterflies erupt.

Then he reminded himself that he had been a bad person who once believed that Jeno and Renjun belonged in hell. He had expected them to change, for them to be someone they weren't and really, how did he expect the world to change if he didn't change himself? Of course, that didn't mean they'd change their beliefs if he changed but, it would change how they treated him if they had been mistreating him.

The bench was painfully uncomfortable, his behind begging him to get up and lay in bed or go and sit in the horribly public restroom─ an area where he had witnessed some scary things by accident which was entirely his fault since the private restrooms had been fixed weeks prior. But none seemed right the moment he spotted Jeno and Renjun both walking along a path, Renjun's older brother accompanying them as he held the hands of two other boys, Dejun and Yangyang, it looked like.

The moment he spotted them, so many feelings came within him. Sadness, longing, envy, and the need to embrace. He remained seated with a look in his eyes where he wanted to get up and run but run to where? Run to them? To his room? Out of the school compound and to the nearby village? Run until he couldn't breathe? Run and pass out, only found hours later? Or just run because running symbolized freedom and he wished to be free of all his thoughts and troubles in life, finding solace in solitude because sometimes, running was the most peaceful type of tranquility?

Jaemin could see the joy in their eyes as they talked and laughed, the love and warmth Kunhang exuded as he held the hands of the two others, and he realized none of them were ever children of the devil. Not from the start, not when any of them would defend themselves and bared their teeth to stand for what they believed, not when they believed something else. In reality, mayhaps he was the child of the devil. For acting like that in the beginning. For believing that only he was right and that everyone who didn't think like him would die a painful death.

His feet suddenly grew a mind of their own and before his conscience could focus on what he was doing, he had managed to practically jog up to the two and pull them in a near suffocating hug.

"Jeno! Renjun!" Jaemin cried, his mind falling in a near drunk state as he wrapped them tightly. "I don't even know what to say now."

The two were surprised, Renjun nearly pulling away violently but a jab to the side from Jeno had him relaxing as their hands slowly entangled in one another.

"What's made you so distressed?" Jeno asked softly, his voice just making them want to melt.

Kunhang and the other two had left the moment they realized Jaemin wasn't in the best mind, giving the three some time alone.

"I'm feeling so bad it kind of hurts," Jaemin explained, his head falling into the crook of Jeno's neck, an arm around Renjun's tiny waist.

"What's bothering you?" Renjun asked and though his voice was nothing close to as soothing as Jeno's, Jaemin didn't seem to realize.

"I'm just sad at myself for treating you guys so badly at the start. It was rude of me and I didn't even try to understand any of you. I just automatically said that you two would go to hell. For that, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself."

"I also think I love both of you," Jaemin added on internally, not daring to voice anything out and that's when he felt it.

The words said were kind of magical. They seemed to trigger something. Something like the barely holding fragments of the Matryoshka layer to reveal a new Jaemin. And they did shatter. Shattered so hard it seemed to have reverberated around their little bubble and hit the tiny fragments Renjun thought he had gotten rid of.

Two new people forming right before the three because Jeno, as he was, was already a version better than most were.

Was it because he was a Wiccan advocating for peace?

Was it because he was just calm and caring by nature?

Or was it because he understood more than others that the world succeeded when working in harmony?

No one knew but it was evident that Jeno had never needed a Matryoshka layer for himself.

The feeling of the layer being removed was almost physical because as soon as the words came out and settled on them, Jaemin pulled back with embarrassment drowning his body.

"Hey, Jaemin-ah? What's wrong?" Jeno asked but all that he got in reply was an embarrassed babble of words.

"Oh- Uh- I gotta go! I'm so sorry! That was embarrassing!"

Jaemin dashed down the path in the garden, disappearing to lord knows where.

Except that 'lord knows where' was easily determined if you knew him long enough.

Renjun tilted his head, the feeling of the Matryoshka layer vanishing finally registering in him and he smiled. He smiled because even though he had come to love Jaemin in a friendly manner, the boy apologizing made him soften to where he could love him in a romantic fashion if they put energy and label on it. And really, mayhaps his layer had allowed him to feel that way long before but only made itself known until it finally came off at that point.

"Do you think we should go after him?" Jeno asked, his eyes still looking in the direction Jaemin headed.

Renjun blinked at the question and contemplated, trying to figure out what would be the best option at that moment.

"I think we should give him a few minutes then go up to the roof. He'll definitely be there," Renjun smiled, tiptoeing to plant a kiss on Jeno's lips as an arm wrapped around his waist and tightened.

"Agreed."