Unforeseen

Chapter XXIV

Gabriele could tell I had grown tired. My hair no longer shined as bright as it once had. My face could not seem to form a genuine smile. My appetite withered away and with it so did my body. I looked nothing like the woman he had met or the woman he had fallen in love with, and his bride to be...well, she didn't exist anymore. I dragged myself to the library late one night, coincidentally the same night that Gabriele had decided to dismiss everyone from the manor. I was thinking being in there might help bring some sort of life back into me and help me clear my head, ridding myself of my terrible thoughts. Instead, I found Gabrielesitting in one of the armchairs huddled in front of the blazing fire.

As I approached him, I found his head buried between his violently shaking knees. He had run both hands through his hair and was gripping it fearsomely mumbling, no doubt to himself. For once it was a relief to see someone else consumed in their own thoughts. In fact, he was so consumed he didn't even know I was there until I lightly laid my hand on his knee. I sat on the floor in front of him, my legs intertwined in one another, the hot flames beating against my back.

 "It's all my fault you know?" he said without looking up at me. "All of this is. In my head, I thought we could move on and start a new life and everything would be fine. But obviously, we are being punished, excuse me, I am being punished for everything I have ever done in my life, especially to you." 

I pushed my lips together in a hard line, unsure of what to say. I really didn't even know if he wanted me to say anything, maybe he just wanted someone to hear how he was feeling about all this. With that flashing across my mind, I remained quiet continuously staring him up and down until I noticed no change, then I too hung my head, and stared at the ground between my legs. What could I say to him? What could I do? I couldn't even say anything good to myself nor could I even save myself. 

"There are some things I must tell you..." he said, clearing his throat as he did. "You are going to hate me, and what I have to say may even destroy us, but maybe we could find a way to come back to each other again and stay this time. Maybe this will set us both free or at least start us off on a clean slate. I don't want to be the one to hold you back,and I think I need to own up to all that I have done."

I cursed to myself thinking not this again, as alarge knot formed in the back of my throat, quickening my breathing. 

Swallowing hard I said, "What exactly is it that you have done now?"

"Well...every story must start at the beginning,right?" he asked with a nervous laugh while he got up to begin pacing the floor. "So, allow us to start there. The reason why I moved us so far away from Atlantic City was not to be by ourselves and to start a new life together. Well...that's a lie it partially was, but it was mostly because of the deal from before that went bad, from when I got shot the night of our anniversary. Which I told you about the next time I saw you. But what I didn't tell you was that there were men watching us, meaning me and you. They knew who you were to me, where you worked, where you lived, and it was apparent that you were no longer safe. Atlantic City was no longer a safe location for either of us. That's also the reasoning behind me not teaching you how to drive, or getting you a car, or telling you what county we were even living in. Out of twenty counties, there are only seven of those that are rural it would've been easy to look through such a small number for us if these men were desperate or determined enough. Then of course there was always that chance of you returning to the cityalone, telling Giorgia or Benson about where we lived and them telling the wrong person, or the wrong person overhearing your conversation or the obvious you being spotted and tailed home. I couldn't take that chance. Are you still following me?"

I shook my head at him to acknowledge I had grasped all that he had just said without having toutter a single word. So far it didn't seem too bad, maybe he was so stressed about us that he was making a bigger deal out of things than he should have. I mean lying to me was not okay by any means but I see his side and why he did it. He did it for our safety, mine and his. This was hard for him too, I'm sure. I mean back when we first met, he hadn't been in Atlantic City long so to movesomewhere new from a place he didn't even know to begin with had to be difficult.