Never going to escape

Exhale

        Maybe I deserved this, maybe I deserved to rot. The basement I was being held in would be my tomb, I remember nights I would wish Robbie was in bed with me, but now I hated having him lay next to me. Things had gone from bad to worst with the passing days. My neck was still killing me, my back was pressed against Robbie, the sound of him softly breathing irked me. 

      He was asleep, he was calm, at peace even. Meanwhile I was still chained to the wall, a prisoner, beyond pissed off. I was tired, but couldn't sleep. I didn't know what my next steps were going to be, all I knew was that I needed to escape. Before I knew it the sun was shining just barley though the small window above us.

    "Seth, you awake?" Robbie's voice was barley a whisper, but I could hear him clear. I almost wanted to ignore him, but I remembered the last time I did that.

   "Yes, I'm awake Robbie"  I answered dryly.

    "You hungry?" His tone threw me off, it reminded me of the days we were together.  Sweet and calming.

     "Yea, I haven't eaten" I reminded him. There was a hint of bitterness in my tone as I answered.

  "Yea, okay I'll make us something to eat, than maybe we can talk?" He sounded as if he was asking me rather than telling me.

  I eyed him strangely as he lifted himself off the mattress I was confined to, a bit of envy filled me as I wish I could move so freely. I was left alone with my thoughts, I hadn't a clue how long I'd been there or what was going on in the world, did people know I've been taken, were they still looking for me? I could sometimes tell that it was morning by the sounds of the birds, they would sing happily, I never thought I could be jealous of a fucking bird, but here I was. If only I had the wings.

   The saying you never know what you got until it's gone comes to mind, I could vaguely smell something cooking, no not cooking, burning. Robbie was never good at cooking, my mother taught me tricks at making the best meals. I took her for granted far more times than I wanted to admit.

    "I made your favorite, Chicken and rice!" The voice came from the top of the stairs instantly snapping me back into the present.

   I forced a smile as Robbie made his way to me. My stomach could be heard growling, despite the food looking and smelling like shit. I eyed the food hungrily, it was indeed chicken over rice. The rice looked fine, but the chicken looked unseasoned and burnt. Despite that I grabbed the plate from Robbie and eat hungrily. I don't think I ever eaten this way a day in my life, Robbie watched me closely as I eat.

"I love you, I will always love you" I almost fucking choked as the words were spoken.

I wanted to ask him how could he love me, but leave me by myself at my fathers funeral. How could he love me, but speak on my dads drinking, and above all else how could he love me, but kidnap me?

"Do you love me still?" Robbie took ahold of my hand, for a split second I could feel sparks. I had  to contemplate, if I was truly being honest with myself I would have to ask, did I love Robbie?

How could I? If I was being honest his touch was familiar, I loved the feeling of Familiarity. Morally I shouldn't love him, if I was asked by my mother I wouldn't hesitate to say no, brush the question of as a joke, but deep down something was there, was it love?

How could someone love another person who's hurt them so much, Only a dumb bitch would do such a thing. Was I a dumb bitch, I wouldn't be the first. Women and men take their spouse after the seemingly impossible, but my situation was on the drastic side of that spectrum.

"I-" my words were caught in my throat. Deep down I knew what my answer was, deep down I knew how I felt about him. Deep down I knew that

" I love you too" I said before I could stop myself.