Only You

Chapter 31

Elora

May's around the corner and with every date I go on with Alexey, more anxiety accompanies the usual butterflies. My wedding is only four months away, for heaven's sake. And here I am, dating and- dare I say, falling for another man.

Strictly speaking, I know I'm not dating Alexey. Our dates are still technically business meetings, if you will. But every kiss, smile, and tender gesture has been blurring the lines to the point where I'm almost unable to see it anymore. I'll be bold and say the feeling is mutual- unless Alexey is just that great of an actor.

The possibility of my feelings being reciprocated scares me even more. It makes the truths I've been hiding so much worse and every little lie by omission seem so much more vital.

Apart from the few times I had to cancel our sessions for an appointment with my husband-to-be- along with my whole family, of course- Alexey and I have never changed our schedule. Even the way our dates go is exactly the same. Dinner, hotel room, his departure.

The only change is that the two days in between our dates seem to drag on forever, making my impatience flare up so much I've barely been able to focus on anything else.

My pictures and Alexey are all I ever seem to think about and it makes me feel like the biggest fraud. Even when I'm around my fiancé, my mind seems to drift inevitably back to those forbidden hazel eyes. Sure, I'm careful to be polite whenever I meet Leander but if you asked me what our last conversation was about, gun to my head, I'd be dead.

One good thing that comes from my secret dates- apart from the orgasms- is the impact it has on my creativity. Whenever I'm outside, my eyes catch on inconspicuous things and my fingers just start itching for my camera. I've actually started taking my equipment with me almost everywhere for that exact reason.

So I might run late a little more often but my business sure profits from it. What I'm most desperate to capture, I still haven't gotten up to. The words to ask Alexey to model for me just once are on the tip of my tongue whenever I see him and his carved features, but so far, I've restrained myself, too much of a chicken to actually do it.

"Anything new you saw somewhere that you want to try out, Sunshine?" Alexey breathes against the shell of my ear, dragging me out of the depths of my mind. I turn around in his arms, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck so I can kiss him properly.

It's all natural by now. I'm so comfortable with this man, it's scary.

When I pull away, I can feel him sigh against me, keeping his eyes closed for just a second longer before meeting my gaze tenderly. My heart trips and falls all over itself but I cover it up by shaking my head. "I think we're all done with my list," I tell him, referring to the list I've made of things I wanted to learn and get some experience on.

Apart from trying out various positions to have sex, I insisted he teaches me something more about oral as well as showing me how to give a hand-job. Overall, I can count the times he's actually been inside of me on one hand. If you count it by dates... not rounds...

Anyways, the look in the man's eyes right now tells me that tonight, I'll get to add another finger to that number. I feel high on excitement as he hums against my skin, smirking sinfully.

"Guess I'll have to lead today, then," he tells me.

"I guess you do," I agree, stepping onto the tips of my toes to kiss him again. When I can't reach his lips and try to pull him closer by his neck, he merely chuckles and remains standing tall.

When I whine, he brings a single, mocking finger to the edge of my jaw and trails it over the smooth skin, looking amused and cocky. "Today, I get to play with you like I've been dying to, yeah?" he asks.

I nod, too captivated by the look in his eyes to dare disturb the moment with my voice.

"Mmm, I love it when you look at me like that," he hums, slowly walking us towards the bed with my barely noticing.

"Like what?" I ask him, whispering.

He smiles at me, tipping my chin up a little further so he can press his lips to mine. "Like a deer in the headlights. Like a child going to the fair for the first time. I don't know how to describe it, Sweetheart, but it feels like you're expecting me to show you a whole new world. Like you trust me enough to let me lead you wherever I want to take us, eager to hang on for the ride."

He kisses me again, his grip on my chin tightening ever so slightly. "Little deviant. Making me feel all special."

It's my time to smile. "I'm glad I can return the favor."

Something crosses his eyes, the same emotion that I've been unable to identify for some time now and his grip on me tightens. When he kisses me again, it's sweeter than I'm used to and has me melting against him like a boneless, brainless dumbo.

When he pulls away, he takes my hand and starts leading me to the couch, rather than the bed. He sits down, practically melting into the cushion as he smiles up at me. "Back to the roots, you know." He winks and I have to suppress a laugh.

Trying to be as graceful as I can, I climb onto the man's lap. As soon as I'm in place, he cups my face and kisses me once more only to pull away before I can deepen it. I pout but he ignores it, smiling to himself.

His hands trail down to my hips and he gives both sides a little squeeze, watching me carefully as he checks in on me as always. "What do you feel, Sweetheart?" he asks, his voice breathy as he starts massaging the generous flesh.

I lean in, kiss the edge of his jaw and say, "Just you," like I always do. I've learned that Alexey loves my hips, holding onto them and gripping them, and with the way he worships that part of me, scar or no scar, makes it hard for the disgust that used to accompany it to shine through.

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