𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘴 ~ dnf

⤜ chapter XXI

~ Right Where You Left Me ~
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[heavy angst chapter]

Dream
9:10 PM

I'm in my bed, no surprise about that. After that incident last night, my arm's been in nonstop pain. The bleeding stopped, but it still stings. I don't really regret it either, because the pain has been taking my mind off of George. I've been more focused on the marks in my arms, rather than him. It's kind of weird how that works. I've got the marks covered in bandaids, because I don't want them to get infected. It's not that bad really, just some scratch marks.

I can live with this. I'll be fine. This pain hurts way less than the pain I feel when I think of George and his unwillingness to speak to me. However, that pain isn't completely hidden. It's still there. I'm still thinking about him ever so often. Especially when Camille keeps posting about him on Twitter.

She keeps saying stuff about him. I don't know what's so special about today, but she usually never says this much about him in the span of a few hours. Things like:

george is such a cutie 🥰

i can't believe this man is all mine

luv u bby <33

Except, all of the replies are turned off. I'm not sure why, they usually aren't. Camille usually keeps all of her replies on. This time is different apparently. All of them are pictures of George. I find myself staring at them. Some are just him, some have her in them. I'm mainly focused on the one where George's head is on her lap and her hand is in his hair. I had that. For only a few short minutes, but I had that. I had George on my chest. I had his arms around my waist. I could feel every time his diaphragm tightened and loosened. I felt every breath he took.

I had George laying on me. I had my fingers in his hair like Camille does there. His beautiful, dark, brunet hair. He was right there in my grasp, but I somehow fucked it all up and let him go. Now she's got him, and I don't think she's going to let him go anytime soon. I had his gaze, I had his cheek in my hand. I fucking had his lips against mine. But his grasp slipped from my fingertips and now she's got him.

It's not fair. She doesn't deserve him. George deserves so much more than her. So much more than what she can give him. I think he should let her go. I think he just needs to realize his worth. He needs to know that she's not right for him. George deserves the world at his hands. If he'd let me, i'd try my hardest to give that to him. If he'd just let me, i'd treat him so much better than she ever could.

George deserves everything all at once. He's the stars in the night sky. A bright, twinkling, masterpiece you can't ever look away from. He's everything I could ever wish for. He's what i'd like to call mine. George is that person who's stole my heart and I can't even be mad at him for it. I couldn't ever be mad at his beautiful face. He could yell at me, and i'd be smiling the entire time, because of his beauty.

I keep looking at the pictures on Camille's Twitter. I'm looking at George's post on Instagram from the other night. My main focus is always his smile. It won't ever be anything else. He's got a smile that could ruin the entire world. A heart as pure as gold. But I wish—god—I just wish he could be mine. I miss him so much. I just want to hear his voice again. I want to see his smile when he talks to me, I want to hear his laughter. I want to feel his touch again. I just want to be near him again. That's the whole reason I came here. To be near to him.

But now i'm being banished to this room, while he stays at his girlfriend's house. It's so quiet here. I hate the silence, because my thoughts always take it over. I've got the TV on, but it still isn't enough to drown out my thoughts.