latent love [eddie munson]

029

Eddie's POV

"I liked you so much Eddie," Emily let's out a sigh.

"Liked?" I ask, hoping that maybe she said that by mistake.

"I never thought that of you, I still don't. I just can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Whatever this is, I was so happy and all it took was one little misunderstanding to make me miserable. With everything that's happened to me I need to focus on being happy."

"I didn't want that. I want to make you happy."

"It's too late. I can't deal with this." Emily says, and I feel my heart shattering. Emily gets up from where she was sat on the stairs, "We can be friends, that's it." She goes back inside and leaves me alone outside.

For the first time this week, I let my tears come out. I quickly wipe them away when the door creaks open and Max slips through the door.

"What happened?" She asks.

"She can't deal with me anymore." Max looks at me confused, "She done with me."

"She just left, Lucas drove her here. I don't know how she's getting home." Max explains, sitting down next to me. "Definitely not how I saw that ending, I'm sorry Eds."

"I don't understand. One thing happens and she done." I let out a loud sigh.

"She's been through a lot, there's a whole lot on her mind. Give her time." Max gives me a reassuring smile.

"I hate to think I made her feel so shitty." I wipe my nose on my sleeve, it's runny from crying.

"I know, this may come as a surprise. At first I was totally against you two getting together. Quickly starting rooting for you two to work out." Max says smiling.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she seemed so happy when she talked about you. Nothing but positive things to say, always standing up for you to anyone."

"I really fucked up." I whisper.

"You're gonna fix this I know it, you got to." Max gives me one last reassuring smile before leaving me alone outside to go back to the party.

I sit there alone for a few moments taking in everything in that just happened. I think I should go home.

I stand up and choose to go around Mikes backyard out the gate to the front yard to leave, not wanting to walk through everyone all puffy eyed. I make it to my van, just as I'm about to see my key in the ignition I see Emily. She's sitting on the curb down the street, looking at her phone.

I take a few moments to admire how beautiful she looks sitting there alone before driving home.

Once I'm home, my house is dark and quiet. Wayne must be out, perfect.

Looking in the fridge I find a beer and crack it open, taking a sip. Tastes like shit but I don't care. I don't want to feel.

I start chugging it, and when I'm done I reach for another. I quickly finish the second one before heading into my room, I want to get so unbelievably high.

I make my way into my bed room to find my stash. It's under my bed, a tin lunch box filled with all I have. I find a joint quickly lighting it up.

One puff, two and three.

I stopped keeping count after five. Some time has passed and I can start feeling the effects.

I feel like I need to vomit but I can bring myself to move, the whole world is moving in slow motion. I feel like I'm chained to my bed, I can't move.

I slowly lay down and it only feels worse, like I'm spinning. Like I'm stuck on the merry go round I used to play on when I was a kid and I can't get off.

That's when I can feel it coming up, I'm going to vomit. I muster up all the strength I can find to lean over the edge of my bed and grab a trash can. I let myself throw up in it, once I'm done I roll over in bed pulling the covers over my head.

I need complete and utter darkness, no sounds. I need to sleep, this hurts so fucking bad.

At least I'm not think about Emily.

Fuck now I am.

-

The next morning I'm woken up from sun peeking through the windows. My eyes open, painfully.

There's a bad smell, that's when I remember vomiting in my trash can. I don't look deciding in this moment, I'll throw the whole thing away later.

I sit up on the edge of the bed, my head's pounding. Standing up I slowly make my way to the bathroom. I start brushing my teeth and see my own reflection. I look like shit.

Once I'm done brushing my teeth I head to the kitchen, I need water. My throat is so fucking dry. I go to the sink, fill up a cup and chug the whole glass. It feel so good going down.

"You look like shit." I turn around and it's Wayne, concerned.

"I know."

"Late night?" He asks.

"I guess." I say drinking more water, hoping he'll go away.

"Does it have to do with that girl?" Wayne says, "What was her name?"

"Emily." I sigh.

"Yeah her!" He says excessively.

"That's never happening."

"Why? What did you do?" He furrows his brows.

"Basically I'm too much to deal with, she can't right now." I say not wanting to include the details of me selling weed to Chrissy.

"Right now? What about later? You gonna give up just like that?"

"I don't know." I whine, unsure of anything.

"You can't Eddie." Wayne says matter of factly.

"Why not?"

"Because Eddie, I've never seen you care about a girl like you do Emily. I kept having to get on you at shop about getting off your phone, you couldn't stop smiling at it because of her. I've never seen you care what someone thought of you." He smiles.

"What do you mean?"

"You cleaned the whole trailer for her, you ain't ever cared what it looked like." He's right, I don't think I've ever clean the trailer like I did that day Emily came over. Most of the time Wayne cleans up after my messes.

"You're right." I groan annoyed, he's always right.

"I know, you gotta fix this bubba." Wayne smiles a reassuring smile before leaving to work.