latent love [eddie munson]

042

Emily's POV

I thought when you got drunk you weren't supposed to remember anything. I remember too much from last night. I thought maybe if I drank a little I would get what I've heard referred to as liquid courage. The courage I needed to tell Eddie how I feel. I did exactly that in the worst way possible.

I vividly remember telling Eddie he didn't want me and that everyone tried to warn me but I didn't listen. I think at one point I even called him a whore, I physically cringe reliving that moment in my head.

I don't remember what happened after that. The next memory I can recall is taking my pants off and throwing one of his shirts on. Then basically throwing myself at him, we kissed. I remember the kiss.

I also remember Eddie pushing me away causing me to cry. I'm so fucking emotional. My next memory is being woken up from the night mare I was having and Eddie comforting me.

Can't believe I embarrassed my self that fucking bad. I'm never drinking again, fuck that. It must of not been that bad considering the fact that Eddie is messaging me today, concerned about how I'm feeling. Fucking Eddie always concerned about my feelings. That mother fucker.

I feel like absolute dog shit. So tired and dehydrated. I lie and tell my mom I think I'm getting sick, so I should rest. When we finally get home I grab three water bottles and run upstairs to my room, chugging one of them.

I text Eddie to let him know I would be sleeping all day so he didn't think I was ignoring him.

-

I actually managed to sleep all day. Waking up occasionally to drink some water and go back to bed. When I wake up my phone says it's 6:30. My stomach growls so I decide it's time to eat something.

When I make it down stairs to the kitchen Mom looks like she's cleaning up dinner. Richard and Dustin still sat at the kitchen table.

"Look who finally decided to join us," Dustin says, everyone starting at me now.

"How you feeling baby?" My mom asks.

"A lot better now. The sleep helped tremendously. I'm hungry though."

"Sit down I'll get you a plate. Glad your feeling better." I sit down across from Dustin and he just looks at me.

"What do you think made you sick?" Richard asks.

"Not sure. Maybe anxiety about school staring. Max and I stayed up pretty late, that didn't help."

"Max?" Dustin ask, with a tone that says he knows something.

"Yes I spent the night at Max's house." I say matter of factly, knowing damn well I'm lying out my teeth.

"And now your sick?"

"I don't know."

"We're you throwing up?" He laughs.

"Leave her alone." Mom says before I can respond to Dustin, setting a plate down in front of me. I smile and dig in. Dustin huffs and leaves the kitchen. My phone goes off, it's Eddie. I quickly respond, not wanting mom or Richard to think anything.

-

I've slept all day and now when it's time for me to actually sleep, I'm wide awake. It's nearly two am and I am wide awake. Maybe I should see if Eddie's awake, I feel like he's the type to stay up late.

Emily: hi

He responds almost immediately, not wasting a second.

Eddie: your awake late

Emily: so are you

Eddie: true what're you doing awake

Emily: slept all day now I can sleep when it matters why are you awake

Eddie: can't sleep

I feel like I should ask why but I'm scared to know the answer. What if he can't sleep because of everything I said and did last night?

It's all too much. I can't stand this. I need to stop. I can't keep going on like this. Wondering if Eddie wants me or not. If he wanted me, I wouldn't be wondering. I keep telling myself that. He keeps pulling me back in, every time I back away.

Maybe I should back away for good.

I shouldn't be laying in bed having these thoughts. I care so much about Eddie but I don't think I can be only his friend, it hurts too much. I'm looking down at my phone I try to think of what to say, beginning a message and immediately deleting it.

I should just get it over with and outright ask him. Get the clarity I need. I hate myself so I'll probably just slowly fade out of his life until either he notices and does something about it or doesn't notice and I never see him again.

I shut my phone off and set in down, rolling over in bed. I feel like I should be crying but I've already cried so much there's no more. I lay in bed for another hour or so, just thinking about Eddie.