I Fell So Hard That I'm, Killing Myself <3

A Smoking Gun In My Hand, Now I'm Dead To The Land Of The Free. Sing with me...

I woke up on my bedroom floor with someone’s number scribbled on my hand. I started to get up when my head pounded . Oh. Ok. Maybe ill just lay down for a bit longer. My head was killing me and my clothes stunk of alcohol sweat and weed. Damn. I cant even remember what happened last night. I looked down at my hand again. Well apparently it involved a girl called.... Kandice.....

Nope. Doesn’t ring any bells. I can’t even remember what she looks like. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I slid it out and checked the i.d. before pulling it to my ear.

$*#MaXx#*$

‘Heyy’ he slurred

‘hey bro, sup?’

‘umm can you remember last night?’ He cant either? Wow what the fuck did we do?

‘ uh no dude sorry you?’

‘yeah. A little bit. Omar. He gave us some pretty heavy shit man. You and that chick were really getting at it at Marcels party.

‘Yeah Kandice’ i muttered

‘Who?’

‘The chick! Jesus Max keep up’

We burst out laughing. This is what you call a good friend. Max Green. He's been my best friend since forever. We always hang out but lately he's been holding back on me. Like i have to almost force those pills down his throat. He just doesn’t know how to have fun coz his sisters coming home.

‘Dude, Its half past eight. Go to work’ He laughed. Fuck! Work

‘Shit man i forgot. I’ll come by later.’

‘Whatever dude. I still haven’t forgiven you for taking me out, the night before i have to go pick up my sister at the airport, where they have sniffer dogs! and force feeding me weed and pil-‘

‘HAVE A SHOWER!!’ I laughed shutting the phone on him. Man that boy needs to lighten up a bit.

Max’s Dad works in Cali and Max’s little sister Leonie lives with him during the school year but they all come back for the holidays. Barbra always says; ‘i don’t wanna bring up another kid in Las Vegas, I mean look at you kids, especially my baby girl. So sacrifices have to be made’

Barbra's Max’s mom. She's like a mom to me and she's actually really smart even though she's a stripper. But she had Michael, Maxx’s big brother, when she was 16 so she had to drop out of school, which meant that she couldn’t get a better job. Yeah that's Max’s life story. He sucks balls. :D

Nah. He's the best friend you could ask for. He's the only one that knows about my dad, and how he likes to bea-

There was a loud banging on my door.

‘RONNIE!!!! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS!!! I'M GOIN TO WORK!!’ My ‘father’ shouted. I rolled my eyes and got up heading into my bathroom for shower.

I shrugged out of my stinking clothes and got in the shower, washing away the remaining memories and smells of last night. I looked at my stomach and noticed, yet another, bruise appearing on my side. My stomach and back seem to have permanent scars burns and bruises. That was life. It doesn’t hurt anymore really, but i probably wont be able to have kids if you know what i mean.

I turned off the water and wandered into my room to get ready. I could hear my dad huffing and storming about letting me know that he wanted to leave. Now.

Knowing this kinda made me want to take longer. No. Dont push it Ronnie. I thought.

He hasn’t been as hard on me lately, now he mainly just ignores me which is pretty good going i suppose.