I Fell So Hard That I'm, Killing Myself <3

Now we are starting, to love you more...

*Brooke*

We all sat down at the table for dinner. My dad had come in a while ago with Chinese food. I was still grinning madly after my conversation with Andy; I can’t wait till he comes over and sees the new house. We passed general dinner chat. Mom babbled on about her bird mansion and how she had bought a few new cooking books, she was going to learn how to cook. Apparently. Dad mentioned a bit about work, the firm had thrown him a leaving do, he didn’t want to leave almost but the pay here was better. What he wanted to say was, ‘we had to move because we were all on the verge of never talking again’. He didn’t. The looked at me, Mom most likely wanted me to ‘spill’ about Ronnie, dad probably wanting to know if I had read the book he gave me, but I sat and played with my noodles.

‘So, Good day Juliet?’ dad asked trying to sound nonchalant. He always called me Juliet, that was his part of my name I suppose and my mom always called me Brooke or Brookelle. It’s quite strange I guess, both parents calling you by a different name.

‘Yeah. We met some of the neighbors the other day. Umm some people my age. Ronnie lives next door, he works at the hardware store and he helped me paint my room’ I said in a rush hoping he wouldn’t get all up in the boy thing. ‘It looks real cool dad you should see it. Oh and Andy called! He got his car fixed and he’s gonna come round next weekend, is it ok if he stays?’

My dad loved Andy, he was like his son. I was hoping he would catch on to that instead of the talk of boys.

‘Ronnie eh?’ Damn it! ‘Who’s that?’

‘Uhhhh boy next door. He's very nice dad, true gentleman.’

‘Ive heard that before’ he muttered under his breath. I still heard him. I hate it when he does that! I pushed my chair out loudly and took my plate into the kitchen dumping it on the counter and heading for the stairs.

‘Jules baby! You know I didn’t mean it like that!’ he called

‘Night mom!’ I called down as I padded up the stairs. I hate it when he compares me to her, to him.

I though they were trying to ‘move on’.

When I got up to my room I felt stuffy. Its gonna take a while to get used to this heat. I trudged over to the window to open it. I looked out, up to the sky. You could barely see the stars here; we’re too close to city I guess. I sighed, god I miss Ohio.

I was about to go and changed till I heard a thump outside.

‘Shit’ someone muttered.

I strained my eyes to see in the darkness, but then i noticed who it was and my heart fluttered. Ronnie was climbing up his side wall to his window. I watched, amused as he struggled to get himself up. He fell once or twice and I giggled silently. I propped my elbow on the window ledge, this was gonna take a while. After the 6th try he finally heaved himself up, opened the window, and got into his room.

‘Got locked out? ’I didn't have to speak loudly since his window was pretty close.

I saw him stiffen and turn around. He took a step towards his window and realized it was me.

‘Oh, Hey Brookelle’ scratching the back of his head, he sounded embarrassed. ‘Ho-How long have you been standing there?’ he chuckled nervously; I could swear he was blushing.

‘Long enough to watch you fall on your butt like 8 times,’ I giggled.

Now I know he was blushing for sure.

’Uh yeah...I did get sorta locked out.’ He looked sort of uncomfortable, ’Give me a sec,’ he said. He went deeper into his room.

I turned back to my room to turn on the light. Why didn't I do that before? When I went back to the window I saw that he'd turned his light on too and he was waiting for me.

‘That's better,’ I said.

‘Yeah, now I can see your pretty face,’ He smiled.

I blushed and looked down at my hands. There was an awkward silence for a while.

He looked pretty out of it to be honest. Drunk or high im guessing.

‘Been doing anything illegal lately?’ I laughed randomly.

He had a guilty look on his face but he answered quickly. ’No’

I narrowed my eyes at him but I had a small smile on my face. ’You're not convincing,’

He smirked, which made my heart pound. All of a sudden there was a loud banging at his door. He quickly looked into his room then back at me. He looked really nervous. ’It'sjustmydog...ihavetogobyeBrookelle’ He said really fast that I didn't even catch it all. He shut his window and closed his curtains.

‘Bye Ronnie,’ I whispered to his window. I looked back up to the stars. ‘Night Andy’ I muttered mainly to myself. I shut my own window and went to my drawers to get a change of pajamas. After Ronnie had left I unpacked the rest of my stuff into my drawers and shelfs.

After i was in my hello kitty ensemble I got in my soft bed and fell quickly asleep. Hoping my dreams are for once about Ronnie and not Bri. Not likely but I could still hope.



*Ronnie*

I'm finally talking to her, alone. She's so sweet and funny and.....shut up Ronnie. Get your game face on. I can't believe I told her she was pretty. That's practically an insult. There was an awkward silence between us for a while till she said something. I barely noticed time after doing the shit marcel does. Everything feels slower, It feels like ive been out for days when really its been a couple of hours I guess.

‘So you been doing anything illegal lately?’ She giggled.

I felt my face freeze up. ’No’ I said.

She didn't seem to buy it. ’You're not convincing.’

I smirked at her. Hoping it would distract her. It seemed to work since her face turned slightly pink. Then I heard someone pound on my door. Shit! I looked back for a second to make sure he wasn't in here then looked back at Brookelle. She looked confused.

’It's just my dog....I have to go bye Brookelle,’ I hope she understood what I said, because it came out like mush. I abruptly shut my window and curtain and quickly went to unlock my door.

My father came in knocking himself into the door in the process.

’What did I ‘-burp-’tell you about lock doors’-hiccup-’in my house?’

‘Gee I don't know,’ I muttered. I don't know why I always test him.

‘I'm tired of your back sass Boy!’ he yelled in my face.

I gagged and stepped back. ’You need a mint,' I said.

‘You're a good for nothing piece of trash! I'm tired of your worthless ass in my house!’

I rolled my eyes. ’Don't worry daddy dearest. I'll be gone soon.’

‘You're not going anywhere until you pay me back for all I’ve given your ungrateful ass!’

‘What have you given me??’ I shouted back at him, ’Broken nose? Broken arm? Bruises
and busted lips? I would Love to pay you back for that Sir,’ I said sourly.

Rage was in his eyes.

’You need to learn some respect.’ He pulled his arm back shakily. Fuck I could see it coming. My whole body was stuck. Move. Fucking move! I yelled inside. His arm snapped forward and connected with my cheek. I fell back on the floor. God sake. What did Marcel give me?

I feel so tired and lazy. I just wanted him to kill me already.

’I'm gonna show you who has the Real balls around here.’ He kicked me hard in the gut. For the next hour he endlessly punched, smacked, kicked and spit on me. When he was done he leaned towards my face. ’Don't forget who runs shit boy,’ He sneered. Then he left my room and slammed the door behind him my body ached a bit, but since I was so use to it, it didn't hurt as much. I crawled along the floor. I didn't even bother to get in my bed. I pulled the blanket from the bed down on top of me, and fell asleep. Dreaming about the band and how when we got more money we could tour away from this god forsaken town..and…a little bit of me was wanting to share that with Brookelle… Shit, he really kicked my head in good.

**************************

‘SING WITH ME! SING FOR THE YEARS! SING FOR THE LAUGHTER AND SING FOR THE TEARS!’

Shit! What the fuck is that?

I pushed myself off the hard floor wincing as pain shot through my back and my arms. When I was up I streached cracking probably every bone in my body, most of them had been broken way too many times. I stumbled over to my window and threw open the curtains.
There she was. I felt a grin spread across my face, damn that girls niiiice.

I watched as she danced about her room singing to her music which was reeeaally loud in
a tight long sleeved and a pair of booty shorts. I wonder what shes doing today, might ask
her to come down to the city. Damn I feel like a perv.

I turned away from the window and went over to my door. I opened it quietly and stuck my
head out listening for him. Nope. Must already be at work. Its not like him though, he usually
makes me get up, out the house and locks it up before going to work. Yeah I wasn’t lying last night to be honest.

I don’t have house keys. Bastard doesn’t trust me to pick up and leave like riley did.

Even thinking of his name mad a dull ache in my chest.

Riley my big brother. He left when I was 9 and he only came back once, when I was 14 but I was already in trouble and was under house arrest. Again. I remembered he was so angry, he had planned to take me away with him, but of course I being the family fuck up just had to go and get caught stealing a motley crue album from ‘andys music house’, then I got house arrest, I couldn’t go. I remembered how he told me I was so stupid, he called me a ignorant naive kid, I flipped out. How could he say all that? He left me here with him. I did what I had to stay sane in this fucked up house. I punched him and I broke his nose, he punched me back throwing me off him and told me that I could rot here, and he left. I guess it was the one time I could ever remember my dad being nice to me. He only broke my nose back that night and literally dragged me to my room, helping me to sleep with a swift kick in the head. See. He’s so nice sometimes (:

I stripped down to my boxers and looked out the window again. I swear I saw her looking for a second but turned around when I looked back…..

Damn Ronnie. Getting fucking paranoid. I shook my head as I grabbed a quick shower.

When I got out I wrapped a towel around my waist and wandered into my room to find clothes. I pulled on my boxers and skinnies, and went to pick up my ‘store regulations’ white t-shirt but I suddenly remembered the paint… shit! I checked my phone 8:45. He's gonna kill me! I need to be at work for 9 and I need a white t-shirt. Fast. Then it hit me. Max!

I threw on a pair of converse and ran down the stairs not bothering to lock my door, precautions I have to take with a money grabbing asshole of a father. I grabbed the door handle and pulled back, nothing. Shit! Maybe its just jammed, he wouldn’t do this! He knows Ive got a job I need to keep. I pulled harder and harder but finally gave up slamming my fist into the door and kicking it.

‘Fucking asshole!’ I yelled kicking it once more. I stepped back trying to calm myself down and saw a satisfying dent forming in the door. Im gonna die for that tonight, I thought sadisticly. Then I noticed the note tacked up to the door. I pulled it off and read my fathers scribbled writing.

‘Serves you right you useless piece of shit. Make yourself useful for once in your sad fucking life and get this house tidy by the time I get back. You treat me like shit, you can live in it.’

I laughed to myself and picked up the pen that was dropped on the floor.

‘Get fucked old man, ‘ I scribbled on the back and sat it on the end table next to the door. I bolted upstairs to my window. Bastard thinks he can keep me in this shit hole? Haha paaaathetic. I grabbed my hoodie and shoved it into my bag. I threw my window open and dropped my bag out then swung my legs out. I slid down grabbing the ledge with my hands and was about to let go when I heard a small gasp.

‘Ronnie! What the fuck?!’ I let go with one hand and twisted around to see Brookelle staring at me with wide eyes, shocked.

‘uhh heyyy there Brookelle.’ I muttered awkwardly. Fuck I must look like some kinda freak right now.

‘Ronnie…..what. the fuck?’

‘Umm I Uhhhh. Got locked in?’ I tried, seeing what her reaction to that was. She raised her eyebrow at me and leaned closer out her window. I remembered what I was going to ask her.

‘Come on Ronnie get down!’

‘What im trying to do doll face’ I grunted, swinging one of my legs backwards to her wall. There was like a 2 meter gap so it was quite easy. I twisted around fully.

‘Ronnie what are you doing?’ she asked her voice getting higher. Oh she knows what im doing.

‘Watch!’ I grunted again. Mann this is agony on my arms. She stepped back from the ledge.

I kicked my other leg off my wall and pushed over to her window ledge, grasping it with my whole fore arm.

‘Hey!’ I gasped. She looked at me like I had two heads.

‘Hiii’ she muttered stepping back closer. ‘do you wanna come in?’

‘no no no im late for work’

‘at holister?’ she muttered pointing out the fact I was still topless.

‘haha funny. Nah I seem to remember someone getting paint on my work shirt’ I laughed nervously as I noticed she was squinting at me. Shit. Bruises. I thought quickly and decided to change the subject.

‘Soooo I was wondering if you were doing anything today?’

She snapped back to reality (Eminem ftw [; )

‘Ummm nothing yet I guess.’ She looked a little sad, and for some reason I felt I had to fix it.

‘Well uh you could go to the mall with leelee. Max’s little sister. She’s back in town. I bet she’d love to meet you’ I grinned as a smile spread across her face.

‘Thanks Ronnie. But im guessing she has friends here already. Her own age.’ She looked down again.

‘nah you go out with her and tell her to swing round the shop so I can see her. Ill come out after work and im pretty sure max will go out. But I really got to go Brooke.’ I muttered realizing the time had passed.

‘oh ok’ she looked happier already ‘if I see max ill ask’

‘ill send him over doll face. Im sure he’ll be more than happy’ I said winking at her before I dropped down. I heard a short scream but I couldn’t look back I had to run. I grabbed my bag and my board off the porch on the way and skated over to max’s house.

I hope she comes down. Is it sad that it’ll probably make my day? What the fuck?! I met her like 2 days ago.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Heyy guys! :D
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Love you guys always!
Xoxo
Kru$H