I Fell So Hard That I'm, Killing Myself <3

How Does It Feel, Knowing Youre Barely Alive?

'Haha soooo Ronnie wanna stay for dinner? I made my own paiella.' My mom beamed, she looked so tired, she'd obviously been working all day, but she still looked stunningly happy...weird.

'Umm' he looked out past us at his house then quickly directed his eyes back to my mom. He smiled back at her kindly. 'Yeah. Thank you that sounds great Mrs.S'

'Great itll be ready in 10. So you 'guys' can go 'chill' ' she laughed. Oh dear lord.... I face palmed. I noticed when i let go of his hand he moved it to the small of my back. It was kinda sweet actually. Just the touch of his finger tips on my back made my stomach do flips.

'Mom...Please, never, ever say that again hahaha' i laughed heading back into the hallway, Ronnie in tow.

'Whyyyyy' she whinned like a little girl. ' I'm down with the kids...yo!' she said awkwardly but trying to play it cool. 'yo.' Me and Ronnie burst out laughing, i grabbed on the the banister to steady myself as ronnie grabbed the bags and was in fits beside me.

'Your moms...-' he started, but i already knew what he was gonna say.

'Weird? Crazy? Scary?' i laughed heading up to my room with him in tow again.

'cool.'

'...cool?' i stopped and turned on the top step to look him in his eyes, which was just about right as he was 2 steps bellow. He had a cute smile on his face, awwwh how can one boy be so beautiful? 

(raised by wolves just came on scuzz!!  just had to say :'} anyway on with the story hhaha )

'Yeah. She's nice haha' he laughed. His breath tickled my neck. Oh dear lord. His beautiful liquid brown eyes gazing into mine, i couldnt look away, it was a stange comfortable silence. No. I cant do this. Im not stupid i know what this leads to. I blinked quickly and turned on my heel, heading into my room. I heard him sigh and follow.

'Well yeah shes nice, but cool is a bit far i laughed taking my bags from him and heading over to put my stuff away in my closet.

'Well, shes like a friend to you though. She doesnt shout at you all the time. Shes not really like a mean mom. I guess thats cool.' he shrugged dropping his bag at his feet next to the bed. You know when i first met Ronnie, ill admit i thought he would be one of those vain annoying guys thats shallower than a kiddy pool but hes really not, hes so beautifully deep and thoughtfull. 'I guess, i wish i had something like that. Parents like that.' That made me remember the thing in the cafe today. I wanted to ask but stopped myself remembering how fast he went from the funny, lovable easy going Ronnie to the cold murderous Ronnie i had first seen today. I guess its how i feel about Briann. I put some things in the closet as the colapsed, face-first onto my bed sighing.

'My God, you have no idea of how tired i am' He muffled into the sheets. I stiffled a gigle as i turned to see him still face down. He rolled over onto his back and tucked his hands behind his head. 'And this bed is amazingly comfey' he smiled his eyes now closed. He looked so peacefull.

'Maybe you should cut down your hours then silly' i teased lightly 'dont you like work everyday?' His beautiful eyes flicked open, he even looked so tired.

'Cant' he said simply 'I need the money'

'But what about school days?'

'The hardware store let me go today. That was just a summer job. Now ive just got work at the music store every second weekend and every tuesday and thursday' woooow he works a lot.

'Why do you work so much?'

'Money' he said simpily.

'Why? why do you need so much money?' i laughed putting away the last t-shirt.

'To fix my car. To make the car run, and to get away from here' I stopped where i was and turned to him.

'You're leaving?' He sat upright to face me.

' Not rigjt now brookie-cookie. But one day, yeah. I'll leave. Once the band gets bigger it'll be easier. We'll be on tours and stuff and ill be 18 by then and i can move out.' It all seemed so simple to him, like it was in his head all the time, planned exactly down to the last day.

'Why do you have to stay till youre 18?' i asked curiously ' I mean, i dont mean to barge in but the guys said something about it today and, yenno...i was wondering. You dont have to-'

'Ive done some shitty stuff' he butted in. 'And im paying for it i guess' I guessed that that was all i was gonna get from him so i quickly changed the subject.

'So why do you wanna leave so bad?' i muttered sitting next to him on the bed.

'God if you knew' he chuckled to himself.

'Tell me then' I said slightly worried, why was he not telling me anything? Whats he hiding? I reached my hand out to his chest, i was about to pull it back when i realised how weird it looked when he took my hand and held it there, across his heart. I felt its steady thump. bum ba-dum bum ba-dum bum ba-dum.

'Innocence is a virtue' he muttered grinning, his dazzeling eyes silenced me. Later. I thought to myselfAnd then he kissed my hand and placed it back on his chest....omgomgomgomgomgomg this is the most perfect thing ever omg hes just sooo ....unf

Suddenly there was a cough at the door. I turned to see my dad standing in the doorway...oh shit. Moment ruined. Thanks dad! He stood staring confuzed at us shitshitshit...

'Y-your mother said dinners ready.' he kept staring... I quickly snatched my hand back as he stepped into the room and shot up off the bed.

'Dad this is Ronnie' Ronnie stood up, clearing his throught awkwardly and put out his hand.

'Ronnie Radke, Sir.' My dad shook his hand strongly, and nodded with a plain expression on his face..uh ohhh naht gooood. I noticed my dads muscles tensing as if purposely trying to squeeze Ronnies hand tighter... oh for the love of god..But thankfully Ronnies quite strong and didnt show much pain. He just smiled taughtly.

'Ok guys! Enough!' i laughed awkwardly pushing them apart and standing infront of Ronnie. I felt him wrap an arm around my waist....are you kidding me? is this some lame attempt to annoy my dad? uft theyre so childish....

Theyre both about the same height and both equaly built. ' Ok dinner!' I chirped breaking the awkward silence. My dad sighed, turned on his heel and headed down stairs.

'Well....that was...fun?' Ronnie laughed following me down the stairs.

'He's just a little...wigged'

'wigged?' he asked.

'Freaked. Hes still getting used to boys agin.' He nodded understandingly as we reached the bottom of the stairs. He took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze....omg hes just so perfect. I couldnt look at him my whole body felt tingly. Is this what love feels like?....No dont be stupid brooke, a guy like that doesnt go for someone like you....But i could always hope!

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Hey guys! sorry for the long wait i hope you like it! :D Sorry its short :c but there will be more uploaded tomorrow c:

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<3