My blue tinted Butterfly [Giyushino]

[12] Confusion in feelings*

Giyuu had mixed feelings about being driven home by Shinobu a second time. At least this time around it wasn't as awkward between them.

He had originally gotten to Rengoku's party via a lift service and that's how he intended to get home but plans had changed.

"Mitsuri told me you wanted to go home." Shinobu spoke.

"What?" Giyuu said turning to look at her.

"Did you not?" Shinobu asked.

"No I did, I just wasn't paying attention, sorry." Giyuu said a bit puzzled.

They got quiet once more as the silence of the vehicle felt almost suffocating. The small noises from the car driving on the road did little to actually supplement the absence of sound or to alleviate his sense of anxiousness.

Maybe he just wasn't used to it, but, being alone again with her was something else. He was already unwell so this fast of a heartbeat wasn't good for him.

He did his best not to make the situation awkward like last time so he just stayed quiet.

"Here, do you mind if I put on some music." Shinobu said turning the radio dial slightly.

"I don't mind."

"Perfect."

Shinobu was going to turn the radio on anyway but asked him as a sort of courtesy.

The music didn't play very loudly but it was nice background noise to fill the empty car. Neither of them were really talking anyway.

Giyuu listened in on her surprisingly mellow taste in music, or, at least, he assumed this is what she listened to.

"I remember approximately where you live so don't worry." She said briefly glancing at him to see him staring elsewhere.

He would occasionally still catch himself glancing at her from time to time while she drove but it was a very reserved glance at most now.

He was still sick, but that didn't stop him from getting that funny feeling in his chest when looking at her.

As she drove he felt like he had something to say but couldn't find the right words to express it.

He knew of the general idea of what he wanted to express but couldn't think of a subtle way of saying it no matter how he thought of it.

"Why do I even like this girl? Do I really think she'll get with me? What a stupid idea."

Yet, at the back of his mind he thought of what could happen if she said yes. Would she ever say yes to such an absurd feeling of his? Would she ever say yes to someone like him? His feelings of self doubt overpowered his sense of confidence as his voice remained silent.

That thought stayed at the back of his mind nagging him for a while.

Sure, he wasn't the greatest with words, and maybe he wasn't the best person in the world, but just maybe, for one second he'd like to imagine she would.

That idea sounded nice, but he had no experience in such things. Just the thought of saying how he felt chilled him to the bones as it sapped every ounce of confidence he had.

For a nearly fully grown man this was probably the hardest thing in his life he could ever do. For some reason he felt an enormous amount of pressure keep his tongue down every time he wanted to speak.

The increasing fever he was all of a sudden getting likely didn't help either.

"Shinobu...." He managed to barely say as he felt almost breathless as the thought of speaking.