Mages of Rubia ✔️

36

I really do feel sorry about Arden. Watching Lief and Ravana panic hurt me a lot. I don't like seeing Lief cry--I always thought he was the strongest person I knew, but that would hurt anybody.

My hands are shaky as I heal my soldiers. They seem surprised I'm using my magic for that. Lief never did. I heal every wound I can before blacking out.

I wake up in an unfamiliar bed. It looks like some kind of makeshift hospital. I sit up, but a gentle hand eases me back down.

"Careful, Az, you're hurt."

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't," Cooper says sternly, "Your wounds reopened when you passed out. A few people in the vicinity had the same."

"Are they okay?"

"Worry about yourself for a bit. You're running yourself ragged."

I sit up, pressing my hand to a wound to try and heal it. My markings only sputter. It reminds me of when the High Elder was dying. Or when Lief was trying to save Arden.

"See? Just rest. We've been using healing salve. It's working fine."

"I need to heal them," I grumble, leaning back against the pillows behind me.

"You can't heal anyone in this state."

"They're going to attack back," I say.

Cooper sighs. He goes and runs someone down to fetch food. He comes back with a sandwich.

"We have time. They need to heal, too."

I rub my face. My eyes are blurry. I need my glasses. I haven't worn them in so long.

"Who's side are you on, Cooper? Are you going to run off to them?"

"I'm on your side."

"Don't lie. You're on the side of whoever wins. You can't lie to a fellow opportunist."

He sighs. "I didn't sign up for your wars, Azarius."

I stare at the lantern hanging from the ceiling.

"I'm doing what I have to. They wanted to kill us."

"They were leaving. Arden was pregnant, so they were going home. And you fucking killed them. Lief and Ravana aren't the only ones that want you dead for that."

"Kill me, then. I'm wide open. I'm an easy target."

Cooper scoffs. I look over at him, and he quickly wipes his eyes.

"You're impossible to love."

"I know. And you're not a killer. Not like me."

He sets a hand on my shoulder. There's a wound there, and he must know it. He's probably the one who bandaged it.

"How many people did you kill yesterday, Azarius? And how many before?"

I shake my head. "I don't want to keep track."

Seventeen.

"Do you enjoy this?"

"No."

Seventeen people.

"You're a liar."

At least fifteen I had never met.

"Why would I enjoy that?"

The blood was dark and warm.

"You're an awful man."

They must have had people waiting back home.