Transference || TVD

008

•Coping•

I stared at Alaric longer than I wanted to. When he looked towards me, I looked away.

Damon didn't tell him. I'm glad. Everyone wanted to tell him what happened, but he doesn't need that now. It'll only make us all feel worse.

I still can't believe it was Alaric who.... No, I can believe it. I just can't accept it.

While I understand that he would never do that, I hate to say it but.... I'm still scared of him regardless. I really do hope it wasn't him. But when I close my eyes I can still feel the knife in my stomach.

God, I just- I can't stand being scared of him because of it. No matter how many times I remind myself that he would never do that, I still can't shake it. It makes me feel like I'm far more of a monster than he ever could be.

"You should be resting." Rebekah's voice snapped me back to reality, and I quickly looked over to her. Shaking my head slightly, I sighed. "I'm fine-" "He killed you. Even if you found a way to come back, he should still pay for what he did."

As tears threatened to well up in my eyes, I tried to push my emotions down. "Bloody hell, is that sage?" Watching Rebekah as she walked over to Damon, I saw who she was talking about.

Sage... I think Damon was talking about her the other day. She is pretty.

While I can't hear them, knowing Rebekah I would guess it's not a 'nice to see you again' kind of conversation.

After Rebekah walked away, I could almost make out what Sage was saying. I think it was something about Rebekah being a bitch.

God, I wish I could fucking hang out with anyone. Even Henriks off doing whatever on the other side.
_____

Sighing, I pulled off my jacket as I walked up the stairs. Practically everything hurts. Besides physically beating the shit out of someone, all I can really do to relax is go to the gym. It's better than nothing. Doing nothing will probably make me explode. Not in a metaphorical sense either.

When I got upstairs, I was able to hear it. And I wish I wasn't. I swear if Damon broke my wall again-

As I walked by his room, I pounded my fist against the door. "If you broke my wall again I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Reaching my door, I quickly unlocked it.

Well the walls intact. Closing the door behind me, I tossed my keychain onto the nightstand.

Reaching under my shirt, I unclipped my bra. Pulling it off, I threw it into the laundry basket. I'm gonna have to talk to Rebekah tomorrow about raising her standards.

At this point, I think fucking Matt would probably be better for her. Walking over to my desk, I pulled out the chair before sitting down. It took me a bit longer than usual to take out my contacts. After I did, I slid my glasses on.
___

With my glasses resting on top of my head, I rubbed my eyes. I've been staring at this computer for way too long. Pulling down my glasses, I groaned slightly in discomfort. Grabbing a ponytail out of the small dish on my desk, I pulled my hair up into a bun.

"Antoinette!" When I heard my name, I swivelled my chair to face the door. I expected to see Damon, but no one was there.

Closing my eyes, I tried to just shake it off.

"Tony!"