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James wouldn't let Remus leave for the March moon any later.
He couldn't understand the nightmares – because Remus hadn't told him – and so the simple fact that last time the transformation took longer was not enough to sway him. It was too much of a risk and What if it was a one time thing?
Remus refused to let them take him to the Whomping Willow. He didn't care if James was right. He didn't want them there. Not while he was human.
It was greyish when Remus left. The snow had melted from the ground and made a slush that made Remus's shoes sink into the grass as he walked. His jaw hurt from clenching is teeth, but each breath in only fed the anger inside of Remus. He knew what was coming. He knew what he'd have to sit through. James didn't. James didn't know fucking anything. Who was James to decide what Remus could and couldn't do? When James turned into a stag it was painless. He didn't lose his voice from screaming. He didn't break every bone in his body. He didn't get visions of Lily lying in her own blood. James didn't know anything.
Remus had plenty of time to undress. He could have folded his clothes like fucking origami napkins if he wanted to. Instead, he threw them atop the bed in lumps. And then he just sat there—like he said he would. He just sat there in his pants, chin on his shrugged up knees, spine against the cold wood of the twin bed, and waited. Waited. Waited.
It wasn't until he closed his eyes that he realized he wasn't waiting for the wolf.
"Hi, love." She had a book with her this time. Catch-22. "Are you feeling alright?"
Remus had tilted his head to read the title. He sat up straighter. "I suppose you're not going to leave, are you?"
Sydney shook her head. "Why would I leave?"
Remus exhaled. "It'll be any minute now," he said. Sydney furrowed her eyebrows. "Any minute now."
But it was not a minute. They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Remus, pressed flat against the bed frame, rubbing warmth into his arms; Sydney, crisscross in the corner, reading her book, waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Remus was fuming. He filled to the brim with rage, chemical and skin crawling. At James, who wouldn't let him leave later. At himself, for taking so long to transform. At the world, for doing this to him. He hugged his arms tighter, digging his nails into his skin and willing them into claws. He never thought he'd be hoping to transform, but here he was.
"Do you want to read it?" Sydney asked. "I've finished, and you seem upset."
"I'm not upset," Remus said. He couldn't go over there. He had to stay and she had to stay. No one was moving. Sydney tried, but she couldn't get to her feet. Stuck in place. Like Remus, Remus would have to stay stuck in place.
"Remus, c'mon. We've been here forever." Sydney looked around and her expression dropped. "Where are we?"
Remus squeezed his eyes shut. It'll be any minute now.
"Remus?" Her voice was quiet as a page turn. "Why am I here?"
The first scream shot through Remus like an exploding star. Suddenly his blood was a hundred degrees. Toxic gas invaded his chest and burned his skin when he coughed it out. He was suffocating and choking and dying.
Sydney was stuck in place and crying.
"Please," she said. "Remus, let's get out of here."
The shack shook. It was a house of cards in a hurricane. It would collapse over their heads, and Sydney didn't deserve that. She shouldn't even be here. She held a hand out to him, and Remus was on his feet.
His knees snapped in half, and he was back on the ground. Sydney cried out. Her hair stuck to the tears on her cheeks and she couldn't move. She needed him, and he couldn't move. He had to move. He had to get her out before
The bones in his face stretched in ways bones shouldn't stretch. Remus stuck his claws into the floor and dragged himself forward. He just had to get her out. He was so close to her. The wolf was so close to him. He could get to her.
Sydney held out a hand and he was right there. He could touch her; he could free her from this house of cards. He had time. There was so much time.
His hand was a paw when he reached for her, and she recoiled. She couldn't back away, but she tried. Shaking, pressed against invisible walls, stuck in place.
"Sydney," Remus said. It took all his effort. "We don't have time for this, please."
"Your—" She shook her head frantically. "Your hand."
Another scream, an alarm in the dead of night, and Sydney yelped. She pushed further back, as far as she could go, and Remus knew he'd have to drag her out himself. He just had to get her out. It wasn't safe here.
He reached out for her arm, but she jerked sideways, and he'd scratched her face. Blood dripped between tears and she sobbed. Remus shoved himself away as a circle of red enveloped her stomach. He didn't think he'd even touched her stomach. Where was all this blood coming from?
He blinked and darkness clouded his vision. Any minute now.
His shoulders cracked backwards and then rolled forwards, bigger, warmer. Any minute.
Sydney coughed and blood spilled over her chin.
Now.
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A/N
ok but like was i rlly supposed to write a happy chapter rn?
