✅ A Dose of Humiliation

56. The Next Level

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"Here," Serena passed me a little envelope before she started the car. The cards for the Punishment Pill doses that she might be getting. I nodded and murmured my thanks, before pulling out the one for Floodgate. I knew the words on it already, but the grid of black dots at the bottom could hopefully help me to understand what had happened this morning. I'd almost put it out of my mind, after all the chaos with Marcie and her mother. But now I needed to know the truth.

I scanned the pattern with my phone, and several pages of information popped up on the screen. The first page contained the same information as the card itself, but I bookmarked it in any case to make sure that I wouldn't need to find the card again if I wanted to know the details.

"Sorry to spoil the surprise," I said. "I mean, you didn't want to know what you might get."

"Don't worry. I was actually indecisive, not sure which one I'd choose. But now I know what that one is... I think it would be hypocritical of me not to try it. I mean, my friend's already coping with that. If I decided I can't cope with it as soon as I find out which one it is, that would be like exercising my privilege again. Doesn't seem fair."

"The whole system isn't fair," I said, but then paused just a second. "But I know what you mean. I think. If I had the choice, it would seem rude to shy away from the one that Marcie was coping with. So... you're seriously thinking about doing that one anyway?"

"Yeah. But it's supposed to be a surprise, isn't it? So I think I'll take one of the others as well. Pink and orange, I think you said. One that's more embarrassing, and one that's harder to hide. Like choosing the worst of both worlds."

It was hard to believe that after all the trouble we'd had, someone was not only volunteering for the treatment, but considering a double dose. But I wasn't going to argue. Maybe it was just because it was taboo, or something, the girl who was forbidden punishment grew up to crave it. She must know her own mind, and however hard it was to understand, I was sure that she would find her own kind of enjoyment. So if she wanted to experience those, all we could do was be ready to provide support if it proved harder than she thought.

"Hope you enjoy it," I said, and turned my attention back to my phone. There were further details on here, tables of numbers detailing the precise operation of the drug. Graphs detailing the depth of sleep against bladder pressure, indicating where an accident would occur. It seemed to cover most of the graph. But then once I went into the pages about the 'intensified' effects, there was a whole new type of graph: charting the probability of it activating while awake.

I read the slides three or four times, before I could be confident that I understood what I was saying. It sounded like when I was asleep, the nerves signalling that my bladder was full would be looped back, so that instead of that message getting to my brain it would go straight to certain muscles and cause me to pee. Just like a small child. But now, there were two more things I had to take account of. Firstly, a low level signal on that nerve would be masked. So I would be less able to tell how full my bladder was; and it would be fuller before I actually felt anything. And at the same time, once that pressure crossed a certain 'desperation threshold', there was a chance that the Punishment Pill™ would act just like it did during the night; triggering my muscles to release immediately.

"That's not... soooo bad, I guess?" I said, as I managed to mentally translate all that into plain English. "If I get desperate to pee, the drug takes over and makes those muscles release. So basically I can't hold it as long. And I was already bursting when she gave me the shot, because I was just going to the bathroom when she said I had to wait until after the punishment. Damn, she probably read this already, didn't she? She knew what was going to happen, and she set me up to..."