✅ A Dose of Humiliation

41. All Together

My parents drove me to Marcie's house. Serena would have been happy to take me, but they wanted to be sure that I arrived there sober. It hurt that they had so little trust in me; and it hurt more that I knew I couldn't trust myself more than that either. By now I was terrified by the constant feeling that I was losing myself. The actual humiliation effects of the Punishment Pill, on the other hand, had turned out to be pretty tame.

"Hi girls," Dad greeted a couple of my friends outside the house. He didn't get out of the car, and looked nervously at Elspeth. She glared at him with undisguised hatred. Marcie and Jodie showed him no more friendship or respect, but they could be strictly polite. Marcie bowed her head a little and said it was nice to see them; but probably only because her parents had spent such a long time teaching her the kind of old-fashioned manners that meant reciting respectful platitudes to her elders even when she knew that no respect was deserved.

"Can you keep an eye on her?" Mum asked. "I've given the Millers permission to use the boosters, but I hope it won't be necessary."

"We'll look after her," Elspeth said, but she managed to make the words sound like a threat. "Lorna is our friend, and we care about her. Apparently more than her own family does."

"Right," Dad joined in. "She's allowed to have a drink or two. But only if somebody else thinks she's okay with it. Somebody who isn't drinking themself. And she needs to tell you about the problem she's been having, so you can help her deal with it. And she–"

"I'll tell them," I cut him off. "I don't want you shouting it out in the street, telling the whole neighbourhood."

"Very well. So long as you tell your friends the rules you're living by, so they can remind you before you make a mistake."

I nodded, and turned away. The others led me back into the house, almost like synchronised choreography as we turned our backs on my parents' car. I heard them driving away without another word; they didn't even wish Elspeth a happy birthday.

"It's not their fault," I said. "They're under a lot of stress."

"So are you. And you still never hurt anyone else."

Inside the house we found Serena, Lance, Clint, and Jodie already sitting around the lounge. It was a little crowded, but I didn't think anyone was going to be uncomfortable. There was something dumb playing on the television, but I quickly figured that it was just on in the background, and we were going to be chatting for most of the evening.

"Full house," Nikki said with a smile. "Glad everybody could make it."

"We weren't sure if they'd let you come in the end," Marcie whispered to me. After months of that speech impediment, much of which she'd spent not speaking at all, it still seemed a little strange to hear her voice again. I guessed that it was strange for her as well; I'd already seen her a couple of times writing notes instead of talking, even when it was no longer a real need. Was I going to end up super nervous about drinking before bed, and trying to avoid it for the rest of my life? I had no idea, but it still didn't seem like such a big deal. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," I said. "Oh, I brought a present for the birthday girl. I know we're probably too old for that now, but..."

"A couple of people did," Elspeth said. "I don't mind if somebody couldn't think of anything, you shouldn't feel obliged. But if you saw something that makes you think of me, that's the kind of thought that really matters. Thank you."

"So, now we're all here..." Marcie glanced around. "Who wants to order pizza?"

"Yeah," Elspeth nodded. There was a general murmur of agreement from the rest of us, but I noticed that a couple of people had turned to look at the birthday girl, in case she had other ideas. "Pizza is good. If we order from Dominic's we can get some drinks in too."