"This place is a fuckin disgrace", I mumbled as I observed the cramped apartment, "and it smells like fuckin cat piss."
This hoe Sarah couldn't decorate worth shit and her color coordination were all off and she had this annoying ass parrot key that wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Justin smiled at me from the kitchen as he fixed us some drinks.
"I told her that but she doesn't listen to me", he shrugged, "besides this is her place, not like its mines. She's free to do whatever she wants with it."
He looked in the fridge and pulled out a loaf of bread.
Loaf of bread in the muthafuckin fridge? The fuck type of white folk shit is that?
"Would you like a sandwich?" He asked, opening the bread.
"No but I gotta sandwhich for you though", I smiled, "it's hot and ready with extra mayo", I stared at him seductively.
"I like the sound of that sandwich better", he said, quickly putting the bread back in the fridge.
He came over with a glass of wine for me and I took a sip.
"Where's the garbage can? I want to throw this napkin away", I asked.
"Oh, its in the garage", he pointed to the door near the kitchen.
I got up and went to the garage. I noticed all of the plastic bags were hung up on a nail on the wall instead of a bag in a bag in a bag. I thought everyone did the bag in a bag in a bag in a bag thing but I guess it's just Black people. When I put my napkin in the trash, I noticed she had a shit ton of plastic spoons inside including 2 Mcdonald cups (the plastic cups you get when you get a large drink). I shook my head and chuckled. Damn, if this was my house that shit would've been all be in my cabinet. Who the fuck is about to waste free eating utensils? Bitch not muah.
I came back to find Justin's sexy ass laid back on the couch watching The Walking Dead.
"Justin!" I called out to him, getting his full attention, "I need to piss. Where's the bathroom?"
"It's right down the hall babe", he said, looking at me with lustful eyes.
"I don't want that one. Where's the one in Sarah's room."
He stared at me, a bit confused. "Why do you need the one in her room?"
"Because I just do...now are you gonna show me or what?" I asked annoyed.
"Kanesha, I don't know if that's a good idea. Babe, she has a bathroom right down the hall. Can you please just use that one?", he pleaded.
I folded my arms and pouted. "But I really want to use that one", I said softly, looking upset. "Why can't I? I thought you liked me Justin"
"No babe, I do", he said feeling bad, "..okay okay", he gave in, "it's the one across from here, down the hall on the right. And Kanesha please don't mess with anything babe, please", he pleaded.
"Thanks Justin", I walked over to him seductively, "and for that", I bent down and kissed his lips, "Ebony Goddess is gonna make your treat extra creamy tonight, just how you like it." I bit my lip and winked at him.
When I said that shit, that nigga was damn near drooling.
I left him and went into Sarah's bedroom. If the apartment wasn't ugly enough this hoe's room looked even worse.
She need to clean her dusty ass ceiling fan.
I shook my head at the dozens of posters of Rih and Serena Williams everywhere.
