Songbird [H.S]

FORTY-FIVE

Disclaimer: This chapter includes medical talk and themes about mental health. Remember that Marley and Harry are first-time parents and are justified in their reactions even if they differ from how you might react. Additionally, I'm not a doctor so things are probably inaccurate but I've done my best to research everything as much as possible.

Birds chirped peacefully in the morning sun as Harry took a long drag of his cigarette. It was his third one in the space of an hour since waking up, needing something to take his mind off the stress that had kept him awake most of the night. Smoke swirled in the breeze as Harry sighed, kicking his shoes in the dirt as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

All week, the anger he felt towards Matty had been festering in the back of Harry's mind, consuming him every time he looked at his daughter. Both Marley and Harry had been keeping a close eye on her, writing down every time there was a sign of a seizure or any strange action from the girl into a little notebook they carried everywhere with them. They made sure to write down every detail to what Josie was doing before, after and during suspected episodes and any questions they had to ensure the doctors were able to help them in the best way possible.

While Harry was angry at the situation, Marley's anxiety had utterly consumed her.

The girl refused to sleep, determined to be awake and able to comfort Josie if she was to have a seizure in the middle of the night. No matter how many times Harry suggested they took turns watching over their girl, Marley still remained awake - refusing to sleep until she physically passed out. She refused to leave the girl for longer than it took to take quick bathroom breaks, hardly eating at all. Her skin was pale, with big purple bags under her eyes. The teenager was a hollow shell of herself, barely recognisable as all the golden warmth was sucked out of her.

Occasionally, Marley would descend into full-blown panic attacks, crumpled on the floor gasping for air as she sobbed uncontrollably. Harry would do his best to comfort her, to keep her mind relaxed but nothing worked for long. They were both scared.

Johannah had explained that Josie's seizures didn't have to be caused by a serious illness and epilepsy wasn't something to be deeply concerned about. There was medication that could help and she would be able to live a practically normal life. Deep down, both Harry and Marley knew it was epilepsy. Ben had explained everything, stating how Matty had first started having seizures around Josie's age too but now he was on medication which meant his seizures were much less frequent or severe.

But that didn't stop them from worrying how severe Josie's might get. She was only small. It wasn't right she had to go through all of this so early on in her life.

They were completely clueless about how to handle everything, they didn't understand it and they were hopeless to stop it.

All they could do right now was wait. Wait for Josie to have a seizure to write down what happens. Wait for the doctors to test her. Wait for help, for answers, for anything to take the stress away.

The only way Harry knew how to cope with his feelings was to get incredibly drunk or high. Something to numb his thoughts until he felt strong enough to confront them. But he couldn't do that this time, not after promising Marley he would change. It wasn't fair on her and it certainly wasn't fair on Josie.

That's why Harry was doing the next best thing in his mind. He was going to pay Matty a little visit.

Taking a final drag from his cigarette, Harry dropped it to the ground and stubbed it out with the tip of his shoe, blowing out the smoke with a frown as he walked up to Matty's house. His fist relentlessly pounded on the front door, the loud banging echoing throughout the quiet street and forcing the boy inside to rouse from his bed.