11: A Pair of Eyes

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JASPER

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JASPER

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, and another one to overthink isn't what I was wishing for, but Anthony just made things worse.

Hindi ko talaga mabasa ang mga kilos niya. His expressions always bewilder me. His entirety is a mystery for me. He seems unreadable. None of his actions are consistent.

Except for one thing: he never fails to get into my nerves. All the time.

The expression he gave me a while ago is still bugging me. I don't want it bugging me, but I guess we can't control what our mind would put itself into. He's so weird, and I think that's the reason why I've been drooling here in the cafeteria every now and then.

Kanina pa ako nakatingin sa main door ng cafeteria. I don't know why I've been staring at it, but I know something inside me is hoping that someone would come in. Not normal customers, but someone.

And I don't even know who that someone is.

Huminga ako nang malalim, isinarado ang aking dalawang pares ng mata saglit, at isinandal ko ang aking likuran sa counter malapit sa vending machine.

"You good?" ani ng isang tinig sa aking tagiliran. As I opened my eyes, I saw Gab worriedly staring at me.

Marahan akong tumango kahit pa kabaligtaran nito ang nararamdaman ko. "Mm. All is well."

"Are you sure? You know you can always tell me things that bother you, right, Jasper?"

"A hundred percent," I confirmed. "And, yeah, I know I can always count on you."

"I'm glad you're aware of that." she patted my shoulder before offering me a smile. "Keep your lips curved. Natatakot na ang iilan sa mga customer natin na i-approach ka dahil kanina ka pa nakasimangot."

Natawa ako nang mahina. "Pasensiya na." pinilit kong ngumiti. "Marami lang kasing iniisip lately."

One thing I despise about faking your smile and happiness is you feel so fucking stupid about doing it, like as if you're fooling no one but yourself as you offer the public a show. But I think what makes it good is that no one knows if it's true or not.

Nobody could predict nobody.

And that's what also makes it terrifying.

Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin kung anong maaaring iniisip ng mga customer namin. Ang bawat isa'y may kani-kaniyang agenda. Some are studying. Some are just chilling. And some are eating with their friends. Some are alone.

People are piles of mysteries for me. No one is the same as the other. You can never read them the same way.

Natigil ako sa pag-iisip nang biglang ilapag ni Ron ang isang walang lamang tray sa harap ng counter. "All good?" he asked in woe.

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