The Carmichael Sunshine

Chapter 13

*Author's note: Again, there are some ROUGH translations (thanks to the internet) in this chapter - please forgive me if I made any mistakes! Thank you!

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Patrick doesn't live through the gunshot wound.

The Murphy's doctor works on him for almost an hour, but Patrick lost so much blood and the bullet hit an artery. There was no helping him.

I feel absolutely sick.

Connor delivers the grave news. I instantly begin sobbing. Frank runs his hands through his hair, clearly pained at having lost his partner.

Ray drives the car back out of the city with Frank in the passenger seat and me quietly sobbing into Connor's arms in the backseat.

"He's dead because of me." I feel so sick. He's just...gone.

"Baby," Connor pulls me up to look at him. "Stop that. It's not your fault. Patrick understood the job. Better than most. He was one of my best soldiers and a good friend. I know you're hurting, but it is not your fault he was hit. Okay?"

I don't believe his words, but I sniffle and nod. "Why would Pavel do that?"

Connor runs a hand through his hair. "He wants me scared."

"Are you?"

His eyes darken. "For myself? No."

A long silence.

Connor pushes a lock of my hair out of my face behind my ear. "For you? Terrified."

My breath catches. "Will he kill me?"

"No."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm arranging a meeting," he tells me.

"Connor, no. I don't want you alone with him...he's...dangerous."

A darkness comes over Connor's face. "You have no idea how dangerous I am, Ava. How dangerous I can get."

His voice shakes me to my core. I nod in understanding.

We're silent the rest of the drive to the manor.

That night, it storms terribly, matching my mood.

Connor fucks me slow and purposeful. I feel the tension in his shoulders, in his back and muscles. He just wants to keep his men safe. He wants to keep Brenna safe. The Murphys. But he wants me safe, too.

After he explodes inside of me, we lay together for a long time. I run my hands up and down his strong back, comforting him. He's kissing me absently, like he's drunk and can't get enough.

I can't either.

His mouth on me feels like a religious experience. I'm so in love with him, it hurts.

Connor moves his mouth down to my nipples and sucks them languidly. He loves my breasts. He loves every curvy part of my body that makes me full and womanly, and he lets me know it. I arch into him, demanding more and he gives me more, biting and sucking, licking.

We're both upset and sad but being together like this is strangely comforting.

"You taste too fucking good, Ava. I can't get enough of you," he says after he makes me come again with his face between my legs. I'm still panting and whimpering after he eats me out like a man starved. "I'll never get enough."