The Carmichael Sunshine

Chapter 18

Dry.

My throat is so fucking dry.

I wake up to the sun bright in the room. I'm disoriented. Then things start flooding back to me. Pavel. Me slitting Pavel's throat. Me shooting Pavel's men. Pavel's men shooting me. Blood. So much blood. Connor's arms. The Murphy mansion.

I blink. I'm in a nicely, warmly decorated bedroom. It smells nice and feminine. A steady beeping on the heart monitor reminds me that I went through a surgery. My arm hurts like hell, but it's wrapped.

And I'm alive.

Connor was sitting on a chair in the corner. When he sees I've woken up, he launches himself across the room at me.

Tenderly, so tenderly, he pushes my sweaty hair out of my face.

"How long have I been out, doc?" I joke.

"Sunshine," he breathes before kissing my forehead.

I smile at his soft lips. I love this man.

He reaches over and grabs a glass of water before carefully tipping it to my mouth. I gulp the whole thing down, wincing in pain. My entire side hurts.

"Look at you...taking care of me. How the times have changed," I smirk, settling back into the pillows. Connor pulls the blanket up around me, tucking me more comfortably. He has a small, relieved smile on his face as he continues to play with my hair. "Told you I'd be okay."

Connor rolls his eyes. "I believe your exact words were: 'I'm unbreakable.'"

"Yeah, well. That too," I grin. I missed his face so much. He looks tired, like he hasn't slept. Like he was sitting up all night in agony watching me.

"This is all my fault," his smile fades. A darkness overtakes him, his frown deepening.

"No," I say sternly. "I can't do this anymore. We're come too far for that bullshit. I choose you. I love you. I know what comes with that," I take his hand and squeeze as best I can. He lets me. In fact, he laces his fingers with mine. "And it's not your fault. I'm the one with crazy Russian family members. You really lucked out with me. You'll have to thank Rowan at his grave for inadvertently setting us up."

Connor laughs half-heartedly.

I smile back at him.

"I want all of it with you," I whisper to him.

He leans forward and puts his forehead against mine. We both close our eyes as the summer sun shines in the room around us. We just sit like that for a long time, breathing each other in. It feels so good. Like we're the only two people in the entire world.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispers eventually, his hands lacing through my hair, running down affectionately.

I laugh through my tears. I'm crying. I hadn't even realized it.

He kisses my lips, long, but soft. Tender. Loving. It warms me right to my toes.

"If it wasn't completely obvious...I love you, Ava Morales."

I let out a sobby breath and nod. I know. I've known for a long time. "Say it again," I demand, but it comes out all shaky and weird due to the tears. I'm so happy.

He kisses both my cheeks, my forehead, then again on my lips, long and true. "I love you. Every piece of you. Every infuriating, pain in the ass piece of you. Your sunshine hand towels that I can't even look at without thinking about you. That stupid pink hat. Your funny stories. Your intelligence...your resilience. You're so fucking strong, Ava. I can't believe you're real sometimes. Your smile. Your laugh. That look you get when you're really mad at me...I love every...single...thing about you. And I'm never letting you go again. Well," he pauses, a small smile on his face, "I will let you out of the house, I mean."