A/N: I know the song is a Daughtry song, but it fits the imagine.
TW: childhood Cancer diagnosis, loss, very sad imagine
Chad's POV
2002
"Kroeger?" The nurse calls out as I sit with my four year old daughter, McKinley, in the ER at Vancouver Children's Hospital.
We walk into triage and they weigh her and whatnot before asking us what's wrong.
"Well, she's been running a low grade fever for the past six days, and has these strange bruises for a very inactive four year old. Also, she's got this lump here on her neck that's been worrying me for about three months. My friend said I should bring her to the ER since her PCP was basically blowing it off as nothing." I say and she nods as she feels the lump on McKinley's neck and I see tears slipping down her cheeks and sigh.
"Alright, let's get you guys into a room and get some blood work done." She says and I nod as we follow her to a room in the hospital.
The ER doctor comes in shortly after the phlebotomist, and examines McKinley.
"Alright, so McKinley, are you feeling yucky?" He asks and she nods as he goes to feel the lump on her neck again and she begins to cry as he touches it.
You show her a needle and she's game, but you touch the lump she's in a fit of terror.
"Well, I would like to get the pediatric oncologist down here to examine her himself before I decide on a biopsy." The doctor says and I freeze.
"O-Oncologist? As in Cancer?" I ask and he nods.
"It's not definite yes, Mr. Kroeger, but for things that look like cancer, we have to have an oncologist's opinion before any decisions are made." He says and I nod as I sit back down.
Five hours later, the pediatric oncologist, Dr. Simms, is down in the ER and examining the lump on McKinley's neck and the poor babygirl is screaming, but I can't touch her right now to calm her.
"I'm putting in an order for a biopsy today. What cancers run in your family, Mr. Kroeger?" He asks and I feel my lip tremble.
"My late wife, Kinley's mother, passed when she was three months old from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She'd been diagnosed when she was six months along and refused to deliver Kinley early and refused treatment." I whisper and he sighs.
"Mr. Kroeger, it's is very possible that McKinley has inherited the cancer. We have the biopsy. Are there any other cancers?" He asks and I remember my older daughter, Avery.
"My first daughter, Avery, passed from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia when she was 3. It was caught too late. My granddad passed from colon cancer." I say and he nods.
"I doubt it's colon cancer, but the other two, mostly the first one, is very likely." He says and they bring the stuff in for the biopsy.
The biopsy is quickly done and then we wait.
Two hours and fifteen minutes later they return to take Kinley back for an MRI.
They bring her back and the oncologist follows five minutes later.
"Mr. Kroeger, I'm very very sorry to give you this news, but McKinley has DIPG. The tumor is in the Pons region of her brain stem, making it inoperable. There is no cure for it. I'm very sorry." He says and I feel my heart snap.
"I suggest you take McKinley home and make the best of the next 12-16 months with her. Make it count, take a lot of photos, and spend a lot of time with her, Mr. Kroeger." He says and I nod as I go to my baby girl and hold her close.
Three months later
"McKinley?" I ask as I open her door and see her on the ground, and sigh as I help her up and she has tears in her eyes.
"Baby, it's alright. Come here." I whisper as I help her into her wheelchair.
She has recently lost the use of her legs, and her speech is dwindling away too.
Her body has also begun to swell slightly, her going from a solid 35 pounds to 85 withing the past three months.
Ryan and his wife have been helping a lot, as Tish lost her sister to DIPG when they were kids, only that it didn't even have a fucking name then, it was considered a terminal cancer and that was it.
Six months later...
It's been a year since McKinley was diagnosed with DIPG. Since her body swelled like a balloon. Since she lost complete functionality of her limbs and bladder. Since she lost the ability to speak or eat.
We have been in the hospital since three AM as McKinley started having difficulty breathing. She's on a vent now.
"Mr. Kroeger?" I hear someone ask and turn to see Dr. Simms there.
"What?" I ask and he sighs sadly.
"It's time to let her go, Chad. She's brain dead and won't be waking up." He says and I feel my heart break as I lost my second daughter to fucking cancer.
"I don't want to though. She's all I got." I whisper and he nods as he puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Chad, I understand. But she's gone, I'm very sorry." He whispers and I nod as I go to Kinley and wrap her now swollen body in a tight hug as I sob.
"Bye sweetheart. I hope I see you again." I whisper and the doctor turns the machine off and she flatlines.
2022
19 years later
Chad's POV
Vancouver Children's Cemetery
I grip the bouquets of poinsettias and babies breath in my hand as I approach McKinley's and Avery's grave site. I smile as I sit with my girls for a while.
Kinley's mother is buried in Saskatchewan and I'm not allowed on the property due to her jackass father.
I set the poinsettias in Avery's vase and the Babies Breath in McKinley's.
"I miss you guys. Avery, you'd be 32 this year, God that makes me feel old. I'll be forty-nine on the fifteenth. Kinley, you'd be 24 and dear Lord that makes me feel old. Uncle Ryan and Aunt Tish have two kids together now, as well as uncle Mikey and Mandy. Avery, I still can't believe I was only 18 when you were born and it amazes me every day how we survived up until December 1, 1993 when you got diagnosed with ALL. You would be glad to know that now in 2022, most kids survive it now with Chemo and Radiation therapies. Kinley, honey, I hat to say it, but DIPG is still the least funded childhood Cancer. They have actually shortened the time frame of life too, with it now being 9-12 months instead of 12-16 months. I hate that I lost you both to these horrible diseases but I know you're dancing with angels in the sky. I wish I would have seen you two grow up together and seen you guys welcome your own kids with your husband's or whatever. I would have loved to see you guys bicker like sisters do. I would have given anything to swap out places, for God to take me instead. I love you both." I whisper as I kiss their stone above their names.
I stand to leave and that's when I see a pink cloud in the sky, as well as a butterfly flying around.
I smile softly as I know the pink cloud was Avery telling me she loves me and the butterfly was Kinley doing the exact same.
I get in my car and drive to my house, a Daughtry song running through my head.
You were gone too soon.
