Of Course, It's You

Chapter 21

HANNAH

            It wasn't until late afternoon before Hannah could get away from the house. Jason had arrived a little later than he meant to, to cut up the fallen tree in the yard. And when she put Lyvie down for a quick nap, he told her to go out and get a run in while she could. There were too many thoughts circling her head and they couldn't seem to be quiet. From work, Carmen, and to top it off with Mike, there were too many things making her head swirl and she started to feel nauseous. So, she did the one thing that she could control: run.

            She found herself in the parking lot of her favorite park, dressed in her running shorts, an old pair of running shoes, and an old t-shirt she had cut the collar and sleeves off of. She had cut the sleeves strategically low for air flow, and she didn't care that her sports bra was visible.

             It took a couple minutes to the run, but she was able to find her tempo.  Each minute that passed, her thoughts cleared more.  It was what she needed in order to regain her sanity and cool composure she had found over the past few years. She inhaled for three paces and then exhaled for the next three. Suddenly, thoughts of Carmen at the wedding, in the office, and the bar began to fade. Thoughts of Mike and the talks that they had that morning began to recede.

            Three paces, inhale. Three paces, exhale.

Hannah felt her watch buzz to signify mile one.

Inhale for three paces. Exhale for three paces.

            Another Buzz.

She passed a couple holding hands walking slowly on the gravel trail.

Four paces, inhale, four paces exhale.

A man with a young child strapped in the carrier to his body was in front of her. She passed them as quickly as she could manage.

She increased her tempo, pushing herself. Two paces, inhale, two paces exhale. Each breath was shaky now.

. She could feel the sweat building under her ball cap. Her ponytail swayed and hit the back of her neck; the tail end of her hair wet from the sweat. She pushed herself even harder. The only sounds she could focus on were her breaths and the gravel crunching under her feet with each stride.

Her breathing increased as she forced her body to an almost sprint.

Buzz.

With the humidity and her pace, there was a small gasp with her inhale, much like her anxiety attack at work the other day. Her throat was becoming tight, and her eyes stung. She swallowed hard, pushed the lump away and blinked away the tears.

She thought that coming out here would help her forget all her worries. But the couple holding hands, the man with the child... everything was taking its control of her thoughts.

The trees were clearing to the parking area while her head became clouded again. She pushed to a full out sprint; she swung her arms with vigor. She lost her composure, and her breaths were ragged and shallow.

She dug her feet and pushed on. She heard the gravel and dust fling with each full strong stride. She weaved around the people now. The number of them increased the closer she got to the park.

She cleared the woods, her sprint not slowing.

Buzz.

She slowed, swinging her arms, throwing her head back and closed her eyes. Hannah tried to regain her breath, but it was a struggle. She made her way to an area with few people, she only saw a woman at a picnic table close by on a laptop, everyone else was moving - walking the path or biking. It was more packed than normal. Hannah originally wanted seclusion and solitude to run, but this might have been better. She wouldn't have the urge to sob in front of a bunch of strangers.