Almost Normal (Peter Parker x Reader)

Almost funny

I lay on the floor of the living room practically comatose after eating a whole pizza. The door swings open and I can see Peters upside down face come in the room
He looks at me and he presses his eyebrows together in confusion "Are you ok?"
I sigh "as fine as one can be after ingesting a whole pizza"

He sits down on the floor next to me "I brought your homework for this week"
I sit up "can you help?"
He sets his backpack on the floor "sure"
I grin "I'll go make a pot of coffee and get my phone so we can listen to music"

As I walk to the kitchen Tony walks through the room "Hope you like one direction kid" he says to Peter as he passes
We study for a few hours have a few cups of coffee and get a lot done but then Peter's words start slurring and he's sitting on the vaulted ceiling singing 'Perfect'. He's acting almost like he's drunk but i know he's not, he hasn't been drinking.

I look up at him "Parker thanks for the help but I think you should go home now"
He stops singing and looks down at me "but we haven't finished your work"
"We can finish another day. You seem kind of sick"
"I'm perfectly fine" he slurs
"Please Parker I'm worried. I'll drive you home"
"No"

I guess it's time to take a different approach, "do you want to play a game?"
His eyes light up "yes"
"Ok. Im going to take you somewhere, and you won't know where, and you have to guess where we are"
"Ooh sounds fun" he jumps off the ceiling and lands on his face. His lack of coordination would be amusing if something didn't seem wrong
I lead him out to my car and open the trunk "are you kidnapping me?" He asks climbing in the trunk

"I don't think kidnappers ask if they can kidnap you"
"they do if they're polite"

I close the trunk and get in the car. I think I should go to the compound, hopefully Steve can help.

When in get there i knock on the door only to find Bruce on the other side "uh is Steve here?" I ask
"No, but I can help" he responds with a happy smile that assures me it's no bother
"Um" I stare back that the trunk before meeting his questioning gaze "sure"

I lead him to my trunk and pop it open. He looks at Peter and back at me "Is he dead?"
My eyes widen in surprise "what? No. He seemed almost intoxicated and I didn't know what to do"
"So you stuffed him in the trunk?" He asks in a tone reminiscent of my mother's when I did something bad
"That's not the point"
"Was he drinking?"
"No"
"Did you give him coffee?"
"How is that relevant?"
"Spiders can get intoxicated from caffeine"
I laugh almost guiltily "oopsie"

He rolls his eyes and holds his hand out towards Peter "He's drunk on coffee passed out in your trunk and all you have to say is oopsie?"
"I didn't know"
"How did you not know?"
"Nobody knows that Bruce" sometimes I forget how Bruce is almost more of a father figure to me than my actual father is

He sighs "help me get him inside. We'll give him water and some food and he should be fine"
I nod and help carry him in. We get him some water and food and after about 30 minutes he's back to normal. Before we leave we decide to have some hot chocolate.

About halfway through the glass Tony bursts in the door "what's going on?"
Peters eyebrows knit together in confusion "nothing. We just decided to come have some hot chocolate with Dr. Banner after we finished her work"
Tony's eyes pierce through his head "well it's obviously not nothing. Mays worried about you since you texted her, and I quote, 'help a pretty girl kidnapped me'"
Peters cheeks flush and I nudge him lightly in the ribs "Aw you think I'm pretty? How nice of you Parker"
He gives me a sideways glance and looks back at Tony "huh. That's weird. I must have been hacked"
Tony rolls his eyes "right. Well come on. I'm taking you home before your aunt has a heart attack"

Peter gets up and follows him but stops halfway across the room and looks back at me "see you Monday Stark. Thanks for taking care of me"
I wave "see you Monday"