Mason Harrison is the captain of the hockey team, undeniably good-looking, and always knows just what to say. But he doesn't come without his flaws... After a traumatic relationship leaves him unsure and fearful, Mason doesn't know when he will be r...
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- - - - MASON - - - - simple man - lynyrd skynyrd
Riley left my apartment right after breakfast this morning.
Even after offering to drive her the mere two miles to her house, she still decided to call Layla for a ride.
Her roommates got back to Troyvens Creek late last night, and I'm not sure if Riley declined my ride because she was itching to see her little family or if she just wanted to escape me.
And if I'm being honest, I'm not totally sure how I feel about Riley's absence.
Riley has spent every waking moment with me for the past three days, and I have loved it.
She slept in my bed, tucked away into my side each night, and woke up in the same spot. We cooked alongside one another in the kitchen while my mom watched us with a satisfied smile. She had even been drinking her morning coffee on the front porch with my mom, listening to her babble on about my embarrassing childhood.
And now that Riley has gone back to that big ivy-covered house, I am confused.
When Riley left this morning, she nearly sprinted out of my apartment.
I'm serious. I have never seen the girl move that fast in the entire time I've known her. Not even for Taco Bar margaritas.
All I got was a quick kiss on the cheek and a shy wave as she clamored down the brick steps outside the apartment and got into Layla's car.
Plus, it's not like we have exactly had the time to talk about where a three-day sleepover and Thanksgiving dinner with my mom leaves us. So, as Riley was fleeing, I really had no idea what to say or do.
Turns out, all of a sudden, I'm tongue-tied in front of the brunette beauty.
Then just a few short hours after Riley's departure, I was saying goodbye to my mom too.
With a tear-streaked face, my mom had wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tightly. Hearing her quiet sniffles as she tried not to cry made my heart sink to the deep depths of my stomach.
Saying goodbye to her never got easier, and a lot of times, I found myself wishing she would just move down to Texas. But I had to remind myself that that made no sense; Massachusetts and the neighborhood I grew up in were always going to be her home. Her job was there. Her friends were there. The people she loved the most - other than me - were there.
Not to mention, I have no clue where life will take me after I graduate in May.
The goal? Get drafted or signed by an NHL team and play hockey until I have no more teeth and can barely walk. The reality? I might turn out to be a washed-up athlete who coaches PeeWee hockey for the rest of his life.
Just thinking about my post-grad plans was enough to send shivers down my spine.
Now, as I'm skating around the ice during afternoon practice, I cannot help but look into the empty arena seats with a little bit of anxiety.
There were going to be numerous NHL scouts at our games throughout the season, and they would be dissecting everything about us players. Our skating abilities, footwork, puck handling, and speed were all going to be judged by professionals.
I loathed the idea and loved it at the same time.
"What're you thinkin' about Sonny?" Codie and Mack skated up to me, grins plastered across their faces.
"Nothin."
Codie made a face and squirted his water bottle in my direction. "I don't believe that for a second. You're always thinking about something in that big ass head of yours."
"I'm serious," I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing."
Changing the subject, Codie turned to Mack with a hand on his hip. "Did he tell you, Riley Adams spent three nights at our apartment while I was gone? Three. In his bed too."
"Three nights, eh?" Mack raised his bushy eyebrows and smirked. "You kiss her?"
Nothing could have stopped the blush that took over my face at that moment. You know, ever since Riley showed up in my life, I've been blushing a hell of a lot more.
Slipping my helmet back on in hopes of hiding the blush that painted the tips of my ears and cheeks, I tried to skate away from my two friends.
"No, fuckin' way dude."
"I'm not talking about this right now."
"Oh boo you," Codie whined. "We're you're best friends!"
"You wouldn't have even talked to her without us!" Mack added.
As the two idiots argued beside me, Coach Olson blew his whistle, signaling the resumption of practice.
Saved by the bell. Or whistle? I don't know, but either way, I am thankful.
I don't really feel comfortable talking about Riley and I's kiss. Or kisses, I should say.
Everything with Riley is so fresh and honestly new territory for me.
It's kind of terrifying.
The both of us have been through hell and back in past relationships, and sure they were different situations, but I feel like Riley can understand my pain in a way that a lot of other people cannot.
Being degraded by a romantic partner is not something that you just wake up from and are over. It takes time and effort to erase the habits that they ingrained in you, and sometimes it feels like a losing battle.
For a long time, I have struggled with letting anyone get as close to me as Riley has. Have I had one-night stands since Lindsay, and I broke up? Yeah, I have. But I can draw a line in the sand there and confidently say that the other person and I are strictly doing this for pleasure. There are no mixed feelings or crossed lines.
But Riley? She's different. So entirely different it makes me dizzy.
She has brought warmth back into my chest that I never thought would return. I didn't know if I would ever feel like this again; excited to see someone and relaxed by their presence. But I can confidently say that I feel like that, thanks to Riley Adams.
She makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts, and just seeing her ignites me with joy. And hell, if she doesn't turn me on something fierce all the while.
But this all brings me back to the looming questions hanging over my head.
Where do Riley and I stand after this past week? How do we move forward from this?
I'm not entirely sure what Riley wants from this. A friend? A situationship? A boyfriend?
But to be honest, I don't think I know what I want from Riley either.
Frankly, I don't think I am capable of being someone's boyfriend anymore. Just the idea of it is enough to make me nauseous and cause a lump to form in my throat.
The whole relationship thing is tainted for me now. Stained by the scorching words of an ex-girlfriend and my own self-doubt. Both of which, are obstacles I don't think I'm over yet.
All I know is that Riley Adams makes me happy, and my main goal is to make her even happier.
