The Crow & The Ghost: A Dystopian AU Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Chapter Eight: Mistakes

After Riley leaves, you spend a good five minutes sitting in your chair—hunched over with your head between your knees and breathing deeply—before you leave your office to go on a patrol with a newly appointed Captain, a woman who is almost ten years older than you. It's a stark reminder of your position, the rareness of someone like you to hold it.
The patrol is uneventful; you only observe as the Captain trains newer Privates, adding corrections or clarification when necessary. Thankfully, no Undead are to be seen, though the new Privates look terrified at the mere prospect.
When you return to Headquarters, you sneak into the cafeteria and grab a lunch to go, immediately heading to the staircase to make the climb towards the Atrium, despite it being nearly fifteen floors away. You need to keep moving your body—and you need time to think.
Yes—Riley is hot. Riley is alluring. Riley sets you on fire in a way you had never experienced before.
But—Riley is your coworker. Riley is a Lieutenant. You've never seen Riley's face.
If you're being honest with yourself, there's more reasons to stay away from Riley than reasons to get closer. You know this, and you know that boundaries have to be set before it's too late.
But for all the ways you try to convince yourself Riley is no good for you, that you need to cut things short before they truly escalate to a place neither of you can turn back from, you still reach the top of the stairs wanting to find him and finish what you started earlier in the day. That thought, the one of you making him beg for your tight pussy, is the one that's louder than all the rest.
You sigh and grab the doorknob that leads from the staircase to the Atrium, twisting it and then walking into the giant greenhouse garden. You head straight towards the back, near a cluster of willow trees. They look like runts compared to the willow trees out in the wild, but it's a miracle that they grew here, deep roots and all. They're located in a far corner of the Atrium, where you can sit beneath the corded leaves and look out over the landscape, the view lasting for miles on a clear day. You settle yourself against one of the trunks, the city a tiny metropolis before you and the rest of the Atrium at your back.
No one will find you here unless they try very hard to look. But you've never told anyone how much you love willow trees.
You eat your lunch quietly, trying to think about anything other than Ghost. He's taken up so much space in your mind for the last week, and now that you have a moment alone to really ponder it—it scares you. It's only been a week. If things keep going the way they are, where will you be in two weeks? A month? Longer?
Kieran said Riley would have you on a leash. But if your every waking thought is already about the masked man, didn't he own you already?
"You've stolen my quiet spot." A Scottish lilt says from behind you.
You gasp in surprise and turn around, only to see combat boots. You look up and see that the body leads up to Soap's face, who's looking down at you quizzically. You haven't seen him since he fucked you, and you feel your face flush.
"Your quiet spot?" You ask.
"Just as it sounds," Soap steps forward and then around you, then shuffling backwards to be against the trunk of the tree. He brings himself to sit next to you, a sandwich in his hand. "I come here to be quiet."
"Not many people seem to notice the willow trees," You say in understanding, and a little bit of surprise. Of all the times you've come here, you've never run into Soap. But he's never run into you, either.
"Despite the miracle that they are." Soap agrees, and this makes you turn your head to look at him. He's looking back at you, smiling. You return the smile before looking away, bringing a bite of food to your mouth. You admire the cityscape, all the buildings like toys at your feet.
"It's good I've found you like this, actually." Soap says softly, unwrapping his sandwich. "I want to apologize to you, Crow,"
"Oh, you don't—"
"Not for that," Soap says, as if reading your mind. "I'll never apologize for what happened yesterday. I hope you won't either."
You let out a snort. "No, I won't."
"Good," Soap says, pausing to take a bite and chew, swallowing before he continues. "I want to apologize for all the times I've been a dick to you. I used to look down on you in the past, not take you seriously. I'm sure you can think of all the times I would argue or belittle you just because."
You do. You used to well and truly hate Soap, especially when you were first promoted to Lieutenant. He would undermine you at every chance. He had only gotten better in recent months, though you didn't really realize it until now. How suddenly you could stand to be around him a bit more.
Enough to kiss him and then take it even further.
"You intimidated me," Soap admitted. "And I was pissed that Moorehouse promoted you to a Lieutenant before me. I still am pissed about that, but it's not your fault. More than anything, I hated that you were always right. I hated that you were never afraid. Every mission I did with you made me feel inadequate."
You're shocked at this. All this time, and his cruelty stemmed from being insecure? It is a revelation that doesn't make you feel as angry as you expected. You put a hand on his wrist. "John—"
"No, Crow," Soap shakes his head sharply. "It's true, and you don't have to make me feel better about it. I don't want you to. I was cruel to you even though... even though Ghost makes me feel the same way. He intimidates me, he makes me feel inadequate, and I hate how he's not afraid of a goddamn thing. But instead of hating him, I love him for it. How is that fair?"
You're silent.
"It was wrong," Soap continues. "And I'm not just saying sorry because things have changed between us. I've wanted to for awhile. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me."
You're silent for a few moments more, taking in his words. You never thought Soap would ever mention anything about his behavior to you—you had actually wondered if he would go back to being a dick after your experience with him yesterday. The apology is more than you ever would have thought Soap capable of.
You move the hand that's on his wrist to snake around his thumb and intertwine your fingers with his. You squeeze, looking at him, and give him a soft smile. "Of course I do, Captain. Thank you."
Soap smiles back, his eyes shining in the afternoon light. Then they drop down to your lips before picking back up, meeting your gaze with a different look than what was there just before. You stare at each other for a moment more, the tension thick, but not in the same way as yesterday.
Was that truly only yesterday?
Soap moves to kiss you and you let him, his mouth warm. He kisses you with his lips only, and you see the gesture for what it is: an ending. An end to the animosity between you—an end to whatever was starting to become more.
When he stops the kiss, he only pulls away a few inches, your foreheads touching. "I'm not yours, and you're not mine." He whispers.
You close your eyes. "I know."
"But you're both my friends," He says. He must have put his sandwich down because his free hand places itself on the spot where your shoulder meets your neck. "Can I keep you like that?"
You open your eyes and move your head back a little so you can meet his gaze. "Only if you give Kieran a chance."
Soap's mouth twists into a grin. "Haven't you wondered why Kieran hasn't been gossiping with you about himself lately?"
Your mouth drops open in shock and you move sharply backwards so you can see his entire face. His expression is something only a devil could wear.
"You rat bastards!" You gasp, breaking out into an incredulous smile. You smack Soap on the arm, making him laugh. "You absolute fucking bastards!"
Soap gives you one of the sexiest laughs you've ever heard, where his voice cracks and there's an uncontrollable giggle to it. His face is bright. Glowing, even. "It's hard being a whore," He says. "But someone has to do it."
"Apparently." You reply flatly.
This makes Soap glare at you, though the smile stays. "Don't act all high and mighty around me, Lieutenant. I've seen what you're capable of."
You feel the blood rush to your face and you clamp your mouth shut, slouching back against the tree trunk. You start eating again, the two of you sitting in companionable silence for a few moments.
"Are you guys fucking?" You ask while your mouth is full. You'll be furious at Kieran if he kept that from you—even if you're doing the exact same thing to him... some of that secret even being about the exact same person.
Soap shakes his head before swallowing his own food. "No, nothing like that yet. Just... being more obvious, with the flirting."
"Have you kissed?"
"Do you think I fucking shop around the entire Defense staff?" Soap snaps, his Scottish brogue coming through. "I like to finish my relationship arcs before starting another one, thank you."
You laugh, putting your hands up in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't realize you were such a one-track mind."
"Yeah well," Soap shrugs. "Now that I've gotten you out of my system, Crow girl, I can give Kieran the attention he deserves."
"Ugh," You exclaim, fake-gagging. "You definitely shop around the entire Defense staff."
"I'm working up the ranks," Soap admits. "One day I'll show General Moorehouse what she's missing and all of you people will be my fucking stepchildren."
"Pig." You sneer, and it's his turn to smack your arm.
Your phone buzzes and you fish it out of your pocket, laughing.