The Crow & The Ghost: A Dystopian AU Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Chapter Seventeen: Teammates

Ghost watches his phone for a few moments. Crow doesn't respond. He lets the screen go black before he drops his hand to his side, clutching the phone tightly in his hands as he looks out the window of Soap's apartment, the street below empty save for a squirrel fussing about on the sidewalk.
"She has every right to be mad at you," Soap drawls from his couch. "You're acting like a psycho. Why would you speak to her like that?"
"I don't know." Ghost says between his teeth, his jaw clenched tight. "I'm just fucking pissed."
Ghost and Soap had already spoken, already made things as right as they could be. Soap was jealous, which surprised Ghost. He wasn't sure why he had been surprised, when he really thought about it. Even Crow had picked up on it, and she knew Soap far less than he did. Ghost had then promised Soap that their friendship wouldn't suffer any further, that Soap was more important to him than anything, and Crow agreed on this, was the one initially telling him to break the ice.
"She's way more emotionally intelligent than you, that's for sure," Soap had said in response. "My Crow girl."
Ghost had been starting to tell Soap about last night when Moorehouse had called. She had told him he was off the case, that Keegan was taking over, that Crow already knew about it and had agreed.
Ghost had been beside himself. Had been totally, completely blindsided. He was silent on the phone, unable to form proper words.
"You couldn't keep her safe, so I can't keep you on." Moorehouse had said, and then hung up.
It was like the world had fallen out from under him. Ghost had never, in his entire time in the Defense, been dismissed from something for underperformance. He had never been accused of causing harm to his team or being passive in the face of danger. It enraged him that Moorehouse thought he just let Crow fight for her life without reason. Did the woman have any idea how powerful Crow was? That she didn't need saving?
Did the General have any clue that sometimes an extra gun in the fight wasn't always more helpful? Especially with untrained Undead, who were more trigger happy than anything else? What would his extra gun do, other then make them point theirs even more in Crow's direction? What if they saw the extra gun and decided they would just use their strength instead, charge at Crow and eat her alive? Eat him alive, too?
Perhaps the woman forgot what it was like to be on the front lines, what it was like to interact with those fucking abominations. It had been at least a decade since she went out on a patrol, after all. Ghost had never liked her, but he was liking her even less with each passing day. Yet Crow seemed to trust the woman completely. It made him extremely irritated to see Crow have a blindspot like that.
No one was perfect, but the person in power was especially not.
When Moorehouse had hung up, Ghost had called Crow without even taking a second to calm down. He had taken his anger out on her, had even made her feel like he saw her as a spoiled brat when he knew she was anything but.
He heard her crying, and it made him want to fucking hit something. He couldn't fathom not working on this with her anymore. He couldn't stomach the idea of her spending her days and nights with Keegan. He hated that she was feeling the same sort of loss but hadn't fought for him, hadn't demanded Moorehouse change her mind. It hurt him more than he was ready to admit.
But instead of saying any of that, instead of trying to comfort her, he said the worst things he could think of.
His words shot to kill when he was mad, and he hated it.
He was so fucking self destructive. That was why Soap had been his only lifeline for so long. Only Soap had bothered to understand him—though Ghost couldn't blame other people who had tried for giving up. He was a fucking mess with a past he never, ever thought about. Thinking about what made him like this only made him ten times worse to be around.
When he told Crow he didn't know how to do anything other than kill, he had meant it.
"It's taken me years to understand your moods," Soap says. Ghost shifts his eyes over to his friend as he puts his phone in his pocket. "Years, Simon. And it wasn't without struggle. Remember how we used to fight?"
And they did. They used to fight constantly, and it was almost always Ghost's fault. Soap didn't tolerate bullshit. Neither did Crow.
The difference this time was that Crow might not hold out on him. Even though she kept telling him that she would, kept showing him that she wanted to. Soap was able to master the truth of Ghost over time, but did Crow have the same sort of patience? Did Ghost even deserve it?
"I shouldn't have treated you the way I did, when we first met." Ghost admits. They had had this conversation many times before, but Ghost never felt like his apologies were enough. "I'm fucking bad at maintaining relationships."
Soap snorts. "Don't I know it. Good thing I'm a stubborn bastard."
Ghost turns away from the window and stalks over to the couch, dropping himself beside Soap.
He had gone to Soap's apartment right after he left Crow's, desperately needing to brush his teeth and wash up. He always kept a second set of his toiletries and some extra clothes at Soap's place, just as Soap did at his. And Soap lived closer to Crow than he did, so it was easier to go right to him. He had to apologize to his best friend for being a pussy-whipped bitch, anyway.
Soap looks over at him, giving him a warm smile. "It's nice to see you again, Simon." He says.
Ghost gives him a small smile in return. Soap is the only person who's seen him without a mask on since he started in the Defense.
Soap, and Ghost's apartment walls.
"It's nice to breathe normal air," Ghost rasps.
"Will you ever show Crow your face?"
"I don't know." Ghost shrugs. "It would be a big regret if I did and things didn't work out."
"Oh, and what if our friendship doesn't work out?" Soap teases.
"Then I'd have to kill you," Ghost says. "Because I can't let you live without me."
"Sweetheart." Soap says under his breath, smiling. "But really," He continues, his tone growing serious. "You need to make this right with her. It's not her fault."
Ghost lets out a breath. "I know."
"I'm serious."
"I know." Ghost growls. "I know it's not her fault."
"It's not really Keegan's, either. He was just doing his—"
"I still want to fucking kill Keegan." Ghost snaps, looking at his hands in his lap. "So I'm not quite ready for that conversation yet."
"Hm." Soap muses. "Well. You still need to make shit right. I'm not letting Crow and Keegan slip away before I get to fuck them."
Ghost tsks, rolling his eyes. "So you don't really want to see me better myself as a person, you just want to get your dick wet."
"Who said those are two different things? What's mine is yours."
"You're a dog."
"And you're a bitch." Soap says, and when Ghosts snaps his gaze over to him, the bastard is smiling. "You handed that one to me."
Ghost shakes his head and looks down again.
"Two goldfish are in a tank." Ghost says after a moment.
Soap adjusts on the couch, turning his body more towards him. "Go on."
"One of them turns to the other," Ghost continues. "And asks: 'you know how to drive this thing?'"
He chances a glance at Soap, who's just staring at him.
Ghost shrugs, looks down again, biting his cheek to hide a smile. "Little army humor."
Soap sighs. "Very little."
"Why don't blind guys skydive?"
"Tell me."
"Scares the shit out of their dogs." Ghost looks up at Soap again, smiling plainly now. "We could do this all day."
Soap smiles back. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Ghost smiles wider, showing his teeth. Then he looks down again, picking at a callous on his hand. "Thank you."
Soap tilts his head to one side. "For?"
"For always being so forgiving." Ghost says, his voice a little hoarse. "You're a better man than me."
Soap says nothing. He looks away, staring at nothingness on the floor. They sit in silence for a few moments.
"I will always love you, Simon." Ghost snaps his head up to look at Soap. Soap isn't looking at him. "But you need to let other people love you, too."
"I know." Ghost says quietly.
Soap meets his gaze again, his brown eyes shining in the late morning light. "Do you, Ghost?"
"I'm trying, Johnny." Ghost sighs, running a hand over his closely cropped hair, looking down at his lap again. "I really am."
"Are you actually going to bow out of this case?" Soap asks.
This makes Ghost laugh. "Of course fucking not. Keegan's not having his cake and eating it, too." He meets Soap's eyes once more. "This is Crow and I's investigation. We're a fucking team. I don't abandon my teammates."
Soap claps a hand on his shoulder. "That's my boy."

*End of Chapter Seventeen*

*End of Chapter Seventeen*