Sightless

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

            Casey couldn’t do it. He couldn’t talk to Alex about it, he thought it he could. He was sure he wanted to. He felt a crazy, unexplainable, connection to Alex. Like anything that he told Alex would be okay. Like somehow Alex wouldn’t judge him harshly, wouldn’t tell anyone, and would maybe even possibly offer a solution. That’s the only reason why a guy would tell someone their problems right?  Because everyone knows that guys only tell something that is bugging them if that someone can fix it.

            Casey was so close to telling Alex what he and his father had talked about. But then he decided to kiss Alex first; a test to see what Alex’s deal was. Casey had thought the different possible reactions Alex could have and what each of them meant. Alex getting all flustered and practically falling off the rock was actually one of the reactions Casey had anticipated. It meant that Alex was in complete denial; about everything, his sexuality, Casey’s attraction to him, and his attraction to Casey. Which all things considering wasn’t that bad of a thing. It just meant that Casey would have to do a little reality shocking before he could tell Alex what he had to say.

            After dropping Alex off Casey drove around town trying to clear his head and think of anything, but the conversation he had, had with his father. Instead he just managed to run out his gas tank.

            “S***,” he muttered to himself when he realized his gas gauge was on E. He focused on his surroundings and determined that the closest station was about a block over.

            Once the turn off came into sight Casey flipped on his blinker and came to a stop at pump 3, nearly hitting the extremely large, extremely obvious trash can because he wasn’t paying close enough attention. The only external thing he was paying attention to was that he got pump 3. No matter where Casey got gas he made sure that he got pump 3. It was just something that his mother had always done and that he inadvertently picked up as well.

            Not realizing the sudden drop in temperature, Casey rubbed his upper arms in a pitiful attempt to warm himself up. He looked over the roof of his car and saw that the sun was beginning to dip below the tree line. No wonder it had gotten so cold, the sun was setting. If there was an award for Best At Being Oblivious To Your Surroundings, Casey had a strong feeling that after today he would have no competition.

            The familiar thunk the nozzle made when the tank was full pulled Casey out of his thoughts once more. He returned it to its holster and used his bank card to pay. He had one leg in the car when he realized he was about to forget to close the gas cap.

            “Godd***it,” Casey cursed running his words together.

            He pulled his head together and decided it was time to get something to eat since he hadn’t eaten since his father had talked to him. He still didn’t have much of an appetite, but he knew what would happen if he didn’t eat eventually. No use in putting it off any longer. Without even bothering to check if his dad had attempted to make something for dinner he whipped his Ford Festiva into Gio’s parking lot.

            Gio’s was a hole in the wall Italian place that was about an hour away that he used to go to with his family. It was a place they went for special occasions and birthdays. One time they went to tell Casey that his mother had gotten the job she had wanted since she was a little girl. Another time they went because Casey had scored the winning goal during his youth league soccer game, it was also his first goal outside of practice. The last time they had gone was when they broke the news to Casey that his mom was sick, that wasn’t such a special occasion.