perfect love | billie eilish

s i x t e e n

sophie essence

it's been a couple months, my mom is due her baby anyday now, it's a little girl. i won 3 grammy's last month, i won a vma and im working on an album.

billie and i are.. i don't know what we are but we're more than friends. billie's huge now aswell, she won woman of the year, 7 grammy's and a vma. i'm so proud of her.

she's working on an album too, she's going on tour soon!

life's going fine, except the fact my moms been having complications with her pregnancy.

the baby's completely healthy but she's not coping very well with being pregnant and all, we're all scared for the birth but fingers crossed it goes okay.

"sophie!" i hear billie yell, she's currently at my place, using my studio because apparently it's "nice than finneas's" but i think she just wants to see me more.

i go down to the studio, "yes?" i ask. billie turns around and looks at me, "you need to listen to this and be completely honest with me if it's good or not" she says. i nod.

"take me to the rooftop
i wanna see the world when i stop breathing
turning blue
tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious
leave me, like you do (like you do)

if you need me
wanna see me
better hurry
'cause i'm leaving soon

sorry, cant save me now
sorry, i don't know how
sorry, there's no way out (sorry)
but down, mm down"

the song plays and tears sorta form in my eyes.
"it's beautiful, i love it. what's it about?" i ask her.

"it's basically about suicide. this song is the reason i don't do it, i'm trying to put it into a song and say it this way rather than actually doing what i say in the song" billie tells me.

my angel. i feel so bad for her, she hasn't been the best lately and it's been showing a lot more recently.

she tells me she's fine but i know shes not. billie dissociates all the time, she's been pushing herself away from people, she spends a lot of time on her own in a dark room, her notebook has became more of a safety blanket to her and i've noticed certain.. things on her body.

i notice these things i just don't know how to approach them. i've never seen her like this but i'm not dumb i know there's something wrong. i need to ask finneas how to talk to her about it, i don't want to come across wrong.

"sophie! hello? are you there?" i snap out of my thoughts when billie lightly taps me on the shoulder.

"yes, yes i was listening i was just thinking about something" i tell her, "okay, i'm still working on the song, finneas doesn't know about it because i want to do this all on my own!" she says proudly.

"good for you bil, it's already amazing" i smile. "okay now get out i need to keep working on it" she quickly says as she turns back around in her chair. i smile and leave the room.

i decide to text finneas.

finneas

hi fin
do u have time to talk?

yes of course, what is it?

i'm worried about billie, she's not been herself lately and i want to know how i can help her

oh god, has she fallen back into her depression?

what? her depression?

yeah? she has depression and every once and a while she'll fall back into it, either for a little or for a long time and usually it's really bad
how's she been acting?

she never told me that
but uh
she dissociates all the time, she's been pushing herself away from people, she spends a lot of time on her own in a dark room, her notebook has became more of a safety blanket to her

fuck. yep she's slipped back in, but, i think you should give her a little time to see if she'll open up. sometimes if you give her time she'll get better on her own  and she'll be okay, sometimes if you give her time she'll open up and it'll either get better or worse. check up on her regularly bc she rly appreciates that

alright, thanks finny

also
give her lots of space, i'll try talk to her as well but  if she doesn't want to talk she won't talk about it she likes to deal w things on her own but even if she doesn't want help , show that you're there for her

noted
i'll make sure to keep that all in mind

alright
i gotta go talk to u layer soph!

ttyl finny!

part of me just wants to hear about every single thought of billies and scoop her up into a hug but the other part of me wants to listen to finneas.

he knows his sister better than me.

i decide to go up to my room and take a nap, it's 6pm and i've been up since 7am.

i snuggle into milo and quickly fall asleep.

billie eilish

i basically live with sophie at this point, shark and i are at her house more than im at mine.

i feel better being at hers, when i'm at mine i just sink into this dark hole, i went ghost for a month once. i barely ate, i slept all the time, i showered like, once because i dyed my hair blue and i stayed in bed.

shark stayed with finneas for that month, after a couple days finneas realised what was happening, he came round and tried to help me but i didn't want to take any of his help. i told him to take shark so that he could still get fed and go on walks.

sophies house is massive so when i'm here i can get a lot of time to myself as well, i just like knowing she's there incase.

i genuinely am falling back into my depression. i haven't been like this for months now but i felt it coming.

sophie notices it too 100%, i can tell by the way she studies me. i know she knows but im happy she hasn't brought it up.

i haven't talked to her about my whole depression thing yet. 

anyways, im finished with music for today.

i decide to try find sophie, after a little i find her asleep with milo.

i decide to join her and snuggle into the other side of her where milo isn't.

she moves a little and wraps her arm around me, "night" i whisper and give her a little kiss on the forehead. i quickly fall asleep.

—

HI GUYYYSSSS
this story hasn't been updated in ages but now it's got over 1k reads i've decided to continue it.
this is just a little filler!!!
more chapters coming sooonnnnnn