The Fox and The Crow [Kaz Brekker]

chapter 8

Italics - Sign Language

Daemon looked around at all the stalls with interest. There were so many smells assaulting her nose. From the different people and foods and animals. It was nice. It didn't smell as polluted as Ketterdam.

A stall selling little handmade dolls caught her eye. Her head pounded, flashes of her younger self walking hand in hand with a woman. In her other hand was a small doll. And then a flash of that same doll covered in blood. Screaming. The screams were so loud she felt like they would shatter her eardrums. She felt a searing pain in the back of her neck and her hand clapped over the brand that was there.

"Daemon!" Kaz called out to her, noticing she had stopped walking.

He noticed her stiff form and how one hand was pressed to the back of her neck. Her eyes were focused on the stall with the dolls. What shocked him the most was how she was holding back tears. Daemon was holding back tears. Kaz had never seen her cry before. Ever. Not in pain or fear or joy or sadness. So whatever was going on in her head right now must be really bad.

Kaz stood right in front of her, "Daemon. I need you here with me."

Daemon's eyes squeezed shut, wishing the images would stop flashing in her head. She didn't want to remember the pain. It was too scary. She didn't like it. Her heart was beating fast and her breathing started to quicken. A woman, kneeling in front of her. She was only 5 and a half. The woman handed her off to a man with a teary smile. The ship swayed in the waves. Screaming. They were all screaming.

Daemon barely felt the hand on her arm, leading her to a quiet area. She couldn't feel anything besides what was going on in her head.

"Daemon," Kaz repeated her name, his hands shaking as he grabbed her arms.

Daemon flinched and a tear fell down her cheek. Too much was happening. She didn't want to do this. She just wanted to go home. Back to the Crow Club. She wanted to lay underneath the blankets. She wanted Inej to tell her stories again. She wanted Jesper to bother her at the tables. She wanted Kaz. She just wanted Kaz.

"Daemon, open your eyes," Kaz shook her lightly.

Daemon shook her head, "Mm."

Kaz gripped her arms tighter, "Daemon. Look at me."

She was too scared to open her eyes. She was afraid that all she was going to see was the memories. She didn't even know what they were or what they meant. It was so fractured and random and none of it made any sense to her. All she knew was that she wanted Kaz.

"Daemon. I'm right here. Open your eyes," he said again.

Daemon dared to open her tear-filled eyes. Her heart seemed to calm as she saw Kaz in front of her. He stared at her with concern. His gloved hands were on her arms, shaking slightly.

"There you go. Daemon, I need you with me right now."

She knew what that meant. Kaz needed her present. No detours. He needed Daemon by his side. His Daemon. His Fox.

Kaz used one hand to pull her necklace out into the open, "Remember where you are right now, Daemon. We're in West Ravka. We're on a job."

Daemon put her hand on top of his without a thought, nodding slowly. Her breathing evened out as she touched Kaz. She listened to his words carefully and allowed the real world to filter back into her mind. The memories faded back away into that locked box in the back of her head.

Daemon, realizing she had grabbed Kaz, pulled back immediately. She looked at the hand that was still on her arm in shock. Kaz took a step away from her, taking his hand off her.