Wait For Me

Chapter 5 - A Proper Introduction

TW: some minor homophobia, basically referring to homosexuality as a sickness.

March 1st, 1930

I've been doing some serious thinking since the night at Pops' bar. Who was that man, why did he intrigue me so? Why was he the one to invoke these feelings in me? At first, I doubted my thoughts, yet again, but the gent hasn't left my mind since that night. He was quite easy on the eyes, and his personality was attractive and that smile of his was the most charming thing I have ever seen.

Molly has been questioning my silence since that night. I'm sure she is worried something bad happened. ...

What do I even do with this information now? It's not as though I can act on anything. This illness, this ailment. This strange and taboo desire that is unacceptable with society and subjective to "treatment." But if I'm caught, the Family wouldn't even give me that chance. I would be dead and long gone. The irony is that Pops' sends deliveries to the secretive clubs harboring and catering to other "sick" individuals. Pops refused to outright run one, "I will not be associated with that scum," he had said. But even he could admit there was some good money to be made in that form of business. Didn't mean he would approve of his own flesh and blood being that way. I would be in a Chicago overcoat. I don't even feel that I can tell Molly or Bruno about this. Bruno is one thing, but it would shatter me to see my own twin look at me in disgust. It's too risky. It's strange to know this thing about yourself. This vile, twisted thing that just makes so much sense, and I'm the only one that can know. Another thing I know is that I very much want to see that gentleman again, even if he isn't ill. Chances are good that he isn't.

I just wish society was more accepting of things they don't understand. I've done so much thinking that I know what I want to be able to desperately do.

1. Hold a man's hand.
2. Hold and be held by a man at night
3. Share a kiss with a man.
4. Know what it's like to be with a man.
5. Dance with a man.

Anthony closed his journal with a sigh and rubbed at his temple. Everything had gotten so much more complicated since that night. Anthony didn't think he would ever want love or a relationship, and then suddenly a single man changed all of that. How messed up was that? What a cruel joke from the universe.

A knock came at the door.

"Antonio? Ya decent?" Molly called from the other side.

Anthony sighed again and put his journal under his mattress. "Yeah. Come in."

She poked her head into the bedroom and gave her brother a small smile when she caught his gaze. "Dinner will be ready in five minutes."

Anthony nodded and gave her a weak smile back. "Thanks doll."

His sister frowned and pushed the door open more before stepping fully inside the room and shutting it. "You okay Tony?"

Anthony rubbed his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Molly raised a brow and tilted her head. "No. Somethin' is botherin' ya. I've noticed, Bruno has noticed, hell, even Pops is starting to notice. So," she crossed her arms over her chest. "You wanna try that again?"

Anthony rolled his eyes at his sister's expletive. "Language Molly," he warned. "And...ugh, I don't know."

Molly returned the eye roll at her brother's warning. She was a woman dammit, she could do what she wanted! But instead of laying into her brother, she asked, "what's going on Tone? You've been acting funny since the gin joint. Somethin' happen there?"

Anthony didn't exactly like that their Pops was starting to question his recent behavior. That meant he would start sniffing around and Anthony hated to know what he would find and how he would react. He really just needed to see that mystery man again. Then he could shove this silly notion out of his mind and never think about it again. He patted the spot on his bed and gestured for Molly to sit.