my aeipathy: a collection of writing pieces

so i sit

sometimes i sit and think. i think of you and i. i think of everything we could've been. but i think of everything i've became as well. i wouldn't change it for the world. all i would change is you staying. i wish you could see the way i've changed. the people i'm friends with and the people im getting to know. i've found my confidence and nothing can change that. and so i sit and so i think. despite the change and despite the time thats passed i don't think i'll ever get over you. and its scary. a relationship that has never happened has set a bar impossibly high. will i ever find someone that overtakes your place in my heart? cause you don't belong. and i doubt i have a spot in yours. you have a new gracie now. probably ten times more adorable. and easier to love. and one who accepted you for who you were from day 1. or maybe she's made it difficult for you to move on maybe your heart is split in two. is there space for two gracie's in there? or have you blocked me off and don't feel anything anymore? do you ever sit and think? what's going to happen next time we see each other? i can assume it would be a repeat of ninth grade but in my heart i hope it's not. i want things to change but as i sit and think i know it already had. i've become friends with your old group and i don't fit in still but im accepted which is better. you never come around and honestly part of me hopes it stays that way. it would be easier to move on i tell myself. but reality is until you find someone else or i find someone else there is no moving on. and so i will sit and think. and i hope you will too.