Shatter me

Neuro and Ortho

Tw: mentions of eating disorders.

( Meredith and Derek aren't together in this fan-fiction! neither did they get married, Derek is still with rose! )

Meredith greys POV:

Ive somehow been in this hospital for two weeks without getting caught. Ive been told to go home after my shifts by Bailey, so i pretend to leave, i'm never actually gone for long. I leave for a hour or two ans come back. It's not like i'm scared to go home. Im not. Its just if go home, i have to eat a full meal. Which i dont want to do. Whereas here in the hospital im safe and only have to eat snacks. So, My house isn't my home, this hospital is. Theres another reason, Derek . He will probably be there, he always is, he's  always trying to get my attention and for some reason he thinks stalking me will work.

'I still can't believe it.' I mumble to myself whilst i put my hair in a loose ponytail before i go over to Dr Altman who is in charge of the pit today.

Dr Altman smiles at me before sending me off to bed 3, 7 and 8. This is going to be a long shift. All i have to do is walk up to each bed, let them they me their problems and all i have to do is help. I get bed 3 a Neuro and Ortho consult, stupidly enough, the male in bed 3 broke his left wrist while climbing on a tree as he fell he hit his head making him pass out , this means i have to page Neuro. I clutch my hands together when i hear that the Neuro attending on call is Derek Shepherd. Oh how i wished it could have been Dr Nelson (shadow Shepherd.)

'For gods sake.' I sigh in a agitated tone.

I see both Ortho and Neuro walk over to the nurses station before coming over to me. I explain the situation to both Callie and Derek. I can feel Derek's eyes on my body so i excuse myself from the situation before moving on to bed 7. Bed 7 has abdominal bleeding so i page General and see a very eager Dr Bailey who Smiles as I explain the situation. Bailey asks me to pages Jackson Avery and have him assist in the surgery, so I do.

I i'm walking myself over to bed 8 all i can see is a drunk man who cannot stay still, as i walked closer i feel all the colour in my face evaporate.

Thatcher grey.

'Sir. please stay still so the nurses here can hook you up the moniters.' I hear a voice say from behind me. My head turns around to see Dr Altman standing above me and placing her hand on my boney my shoulder. I see her face shift slightly as she realises how skinny my shoulder is. I feel myself starting to panic and i ask Dr Altman to excuse me. She agrees and with that i walk away.

Im walking to the closest on call room when i see Lexie standing in the hallway talking to April. I have my suspicions of them sometimes, I understand Lexie is with mark but i truly believe April has a slight crush on her. Although I may be wrong, Im probably am. As much as i don't want to I walk up to the two girls giggling. They both welcome me and i place smile on my face as i turn to April and ask for some privacy so i can talk to my sister. April agrees and waves goodbye to both me and Lexie.

'Are you okay Meredith?' Lexies voice asks with a slight sigh.

'Lex, if i could i wouldn't have interrupted you and April, but lex...its just...' i feel as the words come out my mouth.

'Meredith just say it already.' A eager but inpatient voice calls. i make eye contact with Lexie and let out a sigh.

'Ou- your dad is in the pit.' It sounds so strange as i say those words because deep down i know he is my father. He's just not my dad. I watch as Lexie throws the charts on the nurses desk before rushing off to the ER.

- ten minuets pass -

I had put Lexies charts away so she wouldn't get in trouble with the nurses but now I find myself wondering around the corridors  looking for a on call room. I finally reach the on call room.  i take a deep breath hoping that its unlocked.

'Perfect.' i say to myself before I walk inside and close the door behind me and start to pace. Im pacing for at least 20 minutes before i start to wish I could stop, Just as i'm starting to get out of breath i go to stop and then i remember that if i'm pacing, i'm moving, if i'm moving my body will burn more calories. So i don't stop.

I must have been walking for to long as i feel my knees collapse underneath me. I try to catch my breath now i have stopped walking.

'HE-' i start to yell before i feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. Through the slips of my weak tearful eyes i see her. Seconds later i pass out.

'Oh! Damn it! Meredith.' she says. She closes the door behind her and walks over to my unconscious body. The women picks me up and places me on a bed in the on call room.