Shatter me

on call room.

Tw: mentions of eating disorders and self harm.

??? POV:
As she lays between my thighs im caressing the girls blonde hair. The only thing i can think about is how lucky she was that i found her, i know how selfish that sounds but if someone else had found her they would take her to get admitted as it was very obvious that she was dehydrated. Thats not if all though, I don't think she's eating either.

'Good morning sleepyhead!' I whisper as i watch her eyes slowly open.

'H-hi?...' She mumbles. Her eyes starting to open to the surroundings in-front of her. 'Oh no. No!' the girl in between my thighs started to wriggle, making both me and her uncomfortable.

I placed my hands on her shoulders trying to prevent her from getting herself hurt. It was almost as if she thought she was having a nightmare, trying to wake herself up.

'Hey! Hey. You're safe don't worry.' I say, hoping that it would re-assure her. 'Ive got you Meredith, its okay.' I watch her eyes close again.

Im not sure if i believe that shes safe. Though in this moment she is, shes safe from whatever demons she's fighting and she most definitely isn't alone.

My words must have brought her some sort comfort as i can feel her body starting to relax between my thighs.

Oh man. I really wish this could be easier.

'No one knows what happened or about what is going on right this second, Its just me.' I say as I place my hand on the girls blonde hair and start to caress it again. I am hoping it helps her

We sat in silence until the girl was trying to get comfortable within my embrace again.

'Are your okay?' I break the silence after a a while. However the girl didn't reply as she just wanted to get comfortable. I slowly lower my arms, i wrap then around her stomach and help, i lift the fragile body which is laying between me a little higher then before.

I feel my face slightly glow as i watch her curl herself up into my arms. Shes finally relaxed. That's good.

'I-I uh, Why...why are you? Who are you?' she started to question after a few moments, as she asked she kept her eyes shut and started to wrap her hands around her stomach. She hadn't looked up once since she had woken up.

'Oh? You don't recognise my voice? I feel kinda offended Meredith.' I say in a teasing voice hoping to lighten the poor girls mood. She tightens her grip around her stomach. 'Well im sure you know a bit about me, you see, Yang. Yang sure knows who i am. So im pretty sure shes mentioned me once or twice to you.' I say and this time i smile as her face slightly lightens up with the mention of her person.

'Te-...Dr Altman?'  Her voice cracks as she says my name.

'It's okay Meredith. You can call me Teddy.'  I reply.

I am really hoping to make this as easy as possible for her.

'I-' she lets out.

5 minutes go by and we are still sitting in silence. I notice that Meredith started to look up at me. She looks around my face, until our eyes meet and we hold eye contact. Its as if she got lost in my eyes.

'Meredith...' i start to say in a gentle voice hoping that she doesn't look away.

'Mm.'

'Are you feeling okay? I know its a hard question...but try answer it.' i say as firmly as i can but it sounded more like fear.

'Mm...im fine.' But as the words left her mouth, her eyes broke the contact with mine. She looked around for a moment until her eyes decided to look at my hand. It was laying next to my thigh,

Both of our hands were empty.

'Here.' I lent my hand out hoping for her to hold it. I felt the cold hand lay on-top of mine. I linked our fingers as she let out a sigh of relief.

'Y-you know...i-' she had started but i watched as her thoughts trailed, stopping her from saying what she had once wanted to say.

I watched as her eyes stayed on our hands, she had a small smile, her smile was full of comfort, it was like she had worry at all.

'Teddy. I-' she let out a sigh before looking at my eyes again. 'Teddy, i-uh...can i trust you...?' I watched as Meredith's eyes started to fill up with tears.

'Meredith. You can trust me. I promise.' I caress her hand with the fingers that are able to escape her tight embrace. I see the tears fall down her little face.

'I...i don't. I don't know how or where to start...' her words come out, barely as a whisper.

'I understand, uh. Would it make it easier if i told you something, that no one knows about me?' I keep looking at Meredith and her eyes meet mine. She nods and tries to give me a smile but fails.

'Okay. So. A few years ago, i developed a eating disorder. Uh. It took me almost a year to admit to it and by the time i did.' I stopped. I closed my eyes and when then opened again i saw Meredith's still looking at mine. 'Uh. I-I almost died.' I let out a sigh as i feel myself starting to relive that year. I close my eyes trying to escape it.

I realise that minuets had passed. As im slowly coming out of my thoughts. I feel Meredith sitting herself up. Although shes still between my thighs just now shes facing me. This is going to be harder then i thought. I look in Meredith's eyes and prepare myself again.

'My...eating disorder, it almost killed me. Im ashamed i let it get so bad even though i know i couldn't help it.' I turn my head away from Meredith as i feel tears form in my eyes. Im supposed to be helping her. I cant cry now.

'T-Teddy. Its okay. T-talk about it.' I hear Meredith say in a whisper. I feel as her cold hands cup my face, holding it in place. Making our eyes met once again.

Common teddy. I need to. I have to do it for Meredith. She needs this.

'Meredith. I didn't admit that i needed help. I didn't let anyone in, i shut everyone out. No one knew i had an eating disorder. They still don't know.' I sighed. My eyes looked away from hers

'H-how did you realise...?' A shy Meredith asked as she was still holding my head in place.

'I...' i make sure to look in Meredith's eyes. 'I-im a doctor. I knew deep down i had to get help but i didn't want to admit it, I would have went to get myself help but my eating disorders voice took over. I was killing myself, slowly and painfully. The only reason i was able to get help was because i got to such an unhealthy weight, i kept passing out. My body couldn't take it anymore.' I let out a sigh as tears were rolling down both of our faces. Both for such similar but such different reasons.
' i remember some random man finding me as soon as i was about to pass out. Just like me with you today. But i was outside, he came over to me and started talking. Then i passed out and he took me to the hospital.' Merediths eyes became less visible with every word i had said. 'Meredith. That was one of the scariest nights of my life'