Shatter me

elevators.

Tw: Sh/Ed.
Notes ar the bottom!

Merediths pov:
Ive got to get out of here. i know for a fact i cannot stay. I need to get away. I need to escape Seattle. Even for a day.

'Im sorry, I have to go.' I weakly smile at the three people who stood before me. Their faces are all in the same shocked expression but Rose. Rose has tears falling down from her dull emerald eyes. 'M-Meredith.' Derek finally speaks.

'I really...' i gesture over to the exit of the hospital and before i know it im walking out the doors.

My hands reach out as i feel sobs. My heart aches. Im in so much pain for what. I don't deserve to feel bad about this, Rose does. My body is holding itself up against the wall, close to the hospital so if i get paged i can go back quickly but not to close where someone will see me. I Feel as my sobs of pain turn into sobs of frustration at myself. My knees are weak. My head hurts. I need to go. I need a out. I slowly raise my once sobbing head up to read the page i had. 'Richard webber.'

My weak body rushes through the cheif's door. I look to the desk and go to talk but in the corner of my eye i see Derek, Addison. Before i know it Richard sat down beside them. All of them...all sat down at the table before me. Like im a child. 'Im not doing this.' I say. My voice cracks and i see Addison tilt her head as she realises how puffy my eyes ate. No.' I mutter as i back myself out of the room. I feel as my body gets stopped. My eyes are swelling up as the redheaded woman wraps her arms around me. 'Sh.' She manages to say as i start to sob again. I want to kick and scream for her to let me go, i know if i try i will fail. I haven't eaten a full meal in days. Even before that i didn't digest the meal. I feel as a kiss gets laid on the top of my head. My head lifts itself up but all i see is...is a blur. 'I re-really need to go.' I try to say. My voice quiet and in noticeable pain. I feel Addison's grip grow tighter then she loosens it.

'Meredith. Its okay.' The hand that once held me so tightly now pressed against my dampened check. I hum a little hoping she would back away. Her thump slightly
caresses my upper check before letting me go. I nod in reply as i turn away from the 3 people i never wanted to see me cry. Ever.

'Dr grey?' A chirpy-ish voice calls my name. 'Dr Altman.' I say. My back turned around from the blonde haired doctor who had laid her eyes on my figure. My. Figure. My bigger figure. 'Come with me.'
before i know it we are in a elevator shaft. The Emergency stop button had been pulled and teddy's hands are cupping my face. 'Tell me what happened.' Her voice full of concern. 'I-Im fine.' I protest. I cant be here much longer. 'Well your not. Meredith. Your not fine. Your unwell. Im not stupid. I was ill just like you. I had your problems. I-.' Teddy stops as her eyes meet mine. The fear i felt as the words she was saying must be obvious in my eyes as she removes her hands from my face. 'Te-.' I go to say but before i can my body falls to the floor. My knees got so week from all the sobbing i fell.

'Sh. Shh. Ive got you.' I feel the heat radiate off the doctor who now had me in her arms. I try. I try so hard to hokdI sobbed into her arms. I don't want to. I wish i could stop. She never let me go tho. Her strong arms held me safe as my sobbing quieted down.

'Meredith.' its said in a whisper. 'Its okay. To not be okay. You know that?' Teddys grip loosens and meets my empty eyes. I think their empty. I feel like they are. Her eyes on the other hand. They. They had the same sparkle. The sparkle that held place in the center of both of her eyes.

It was almost as if it was for me. I know its not. It couldn't be. Im so unattractive. Not that i want her to be attracted to me. Just.

'I-I need to...' Teddy says as she pulls me out of the abyss my mind tried to bury myself in. 'O-Oh. Yea.' I really wish she didn't have ti leave.

'What happened to you?' no. Go away. Please. I cant deal with this.

'G-Go ill be ok.' I say as teddy picks up my body from the fat she was able to wrap her arms around. 'Page mr if you need me again Grey.' The women says as she places her cold hands on my checks before she pushes the big red STOP button back in. I watch her hand press floor 5. 'Ill see you after by surgery.' The women smiles at me as we both get off the shaft. 'Mm.' Is all i can him in response. I watch as the blonde slowly disappears around the corner. A sigh i was unaware I was holding leaves my mouth. It was a sigh of relief though.

Finally away. as i shuffle myself into the storage room. I push my body against the door, Leaving it to slam with my body force. I am left with a overwhelming feeling, as if the reason the door closed was because of my weight. I turn the lock which lets out a loud clicking noise.

'Finally.' I sigh as i pull my body more into the on storage room. 'Just one.' I whisper as I roll the sleeves up on my green undershirt. I say green. Its called hunter green. I smile as i grab the new scalpel off the shelf into my hands. I take the silver blade of the scalpel into my palm. I squeeze just enough that my hand now has a slight cut. Great. Stupid. Just turn it around. Im now holding the opposite end leaving the almost shiny new blade to hover over my wrist, It would still be shiny but it had a slight spec of blood from my palm. I look down and realise had truly been a while since i had held a scalpel to my wrist. It had to be a week. I gulp and then take a deep breath as i force my arm that held the scalpel to draw a line on my opposite but clean arm. As i let go of the breath i had previously took i find myself looking down at my arm. It was white. I sigh and close my green eyes as i feel the blood starting to fall. My. Blood. The ruby red blood that runs down my pale arm leaves me with a smile that continues to grows on my face as i realise that my pain is gone. All thats left is a cut that laid on my left arm.

Notes:
Im sorry for not uploading in a while. I have had a tough start to December and lots of school work. I promise ill start to write more often. This story is kind of going in a different way then i wanted bit its fine. I will be making hopefully be making greys anatomy one-shots soon tho. Anyways thank you for the support.

+ i didnt proof read.