Shatter me

Consults.

Hi!
This is a rewrite of my chapter "ortho or nureo".

I have not beta read or plan to because I am lazy.

Trigger warning:
Mentions of self harm, cuts, scars and eating disorders.

"Fuck." I mutter as I pull the final stitch for my cut. I let out a small groan. I definitely could have stitched my forehead up better. I place a big white plaster on-top of the stitches

I take a deep breath before stepping out ld the small bathroom. My minds racing. What if bailey sees me and tells me to go home? What if they call security and send me home? What if i bump into dr webber? Of course, I haven't actually done anything to prevent this from happening. Its not like Ive done what Bailey has been telling me to do. Im very much still here. I just pretend to leave. Im never actually gone for long. I leave for a hour or two, take a drive or a small walk, then I come back.

See, its not like i'm scared to go home. Im not. Its just if go home. One of my flatmates will be there. So I will have to eat something. Most likely a meal. Which I seriously do not want to do. Whereas here in the hospital I can get away with only eating snacks.

Of course, its not just food that's stopping me from going home. It's Derek. He will probably be at my house by the time I get home. He always finds always finds time. Its kind of creepy. Kind of stalker-y. But who am I to say anything.

"Okay. Sleep? Or one more shift?" I mutter as I stand between an on call room and the nurses desk. I can see Dr Altman standing there, waiting...maybe she has some super cool surgery or a couple of lousy cases. It would mean i can stay up longer...

"Hi Dr Altman." I force a small smile up to the tall blonde surgeon as i bounce over to her. Hopefully she doesn't say anything about the big plaster on my forehead thats covering the stitches. I throw my still some what wet hair up in a lose pony tail. "Do you need a resident?"

"Oh, yeah, I do. Are you okay Grey?" Altman tilts her head slightly.

"Of course. Im okay."

"What happened to your head? Are you sure? Have you got a concussion?"

"Nothing- yeah. Im sure, im okay."

"Hm. Okay. Well..." She rambles on to me about each case slightly before sending me off to bed 32, 48 and 72.

I already know that this is going to be a long shift. Luckily, all I have to do is walk up to each bed. Read their chart, let them them confirm their issues and problems to me and either book them in for a surgery or call for a consult.

Easy peasy...right?

I get bed 32 and as I do the man on the bed flatlines. "Fuck." I whisper. "Page Neurosurgery and Orthopaedics for a consult!" I shout as I begin chest compressions.

Two minutes later the male in the bed has a steady heartbeat but hasn't woken up. I cant help but sigh at how careless the cause of injury was. He broke his left wrist while climbing up a tree. Thats not the stupid part, most people to that. The stupid part was as he made sure fall backwards so he would hit his head to make him pass out.

"Stupid." I sigh just before both Derek Shepherd and Callie Torres walk in. I explain the patients situation and the injury's. I excuse myself before they can slip a personal question in. I can see Dereks concern for my head but honestly?

I don't care.

As I walk out of the patients room, I notice a very tired look Cristina charting.