Not Good Enough (James McVey/Connor Ball - Jonnor) (1/2)

Chapter 3 - Checking On Connor

Connors POV:

Me and Brad sat on the floor hugging each other until I felt I stopped crying. Brad then looks down at me and asks 'Con, do you want to talk about it?'. I shook my head. Brad then sighs and says 'well, you said something that surprised me a little'. I look up at him confused. Brad smiles and says 'you just admitted that you like James'. I look down again and say 'but I'm not good enough for him, he's straight, he can get any girl he wants to and he is one of the kindest people you will ever meet. Whereas I am just good at being shy and playing bass guitar'. Brad then says 'Connor, you are an amazing person and you have to accept that everyone is different. You are also a kind person and you are great to be around. I don't know why you have felt like this all of a sudden'. I look at the floor again.

Brad then says 'has someone said something to you?'. I stay silent. Brad then lifts my face so that we are looking at each other. 'Has someone said something Con?'. I look down again. Brad sighs 'who said it?' He asks calmly. I shake my head. Brad asks me again calmly.

I sigh and say 'Brad, I don't feel like talking about it. Can I just have a few minutes alone please'. Brad sighs and hugs me again before saying 'ok, just let me know if you ever want to talk or just have someone to sit with you. Ok?'. I nod and Brad leaves the room slowly, taking his drink and leaving mine for me.

I stand up slowly feeling my joints ache from me being in the same position. I feel like crap poo. I think I'm just gonna lie down for a bit. I flop onto the bed and crawl under the covers before resting my eyes.

James' POV:

I'm currently sitting on the couch with Tristan, Luisa and Kirstie, we're not doing anything though. It's gone awkwardly quiet since Connor and Brad left the room. There was a knock on the door and Luisa hops up again and says 'I'll get it... Again'. I smile and reply with 'thank you'.

As Luisa heads to get the door, Brad comes down the stairs and he doesn't look too happy. 'Guys, I need everyone to sit down please. I need a work with you all'. I look at him confused and he gently smiles at me. As Luisa walks back into the room, she is followed by Lauren who walks over and hugs Brad. Brad smiles and politely asks her to sit down for a second.

Brad takes a deep breathe and asks 'does anyone know who has upset Connor?'. Everyone stays silent and I say 'how long has he been upset for?'. Brad says 'I'm not sure, but after me and him had a chat, I entered his room with him crying'. I stand up and Brad stops me 'he said he wants a few minutes in his own James sorry. I've tried talking to him but he won't say anything'. I sigh and say 'can I just go and check on him?'. Brad thinks for a few seconds before saying 'I'm sorry James, but I think he's gone sleep'. I look at the floor and reply 'ok'.

Kirstie then stands up and holds my hand before saying 'I'm sure he'll be ok for a few minutes James, just relax and take a rest. Come on'. I'm honestly not sure what to do. Do I sneak upstairs or shall I go with Kirstie? Before I know it Kirstie has pulled me into the kitchen and says 'why don't you make yourself a drink to take your mind off Connor for a second'. Brad then enters and says 'Kirstie, James. You're the last 2 I need to asks. You don't know who has upset him do you?'. Brad looks like he's about to cry. I shake my head and say 'I don't sorry, when you go and check on him, can I go too?'. Brad smiles and says 'of course you can'.

Kirstie then says 'I'm sure he just wants to see Brad, James'. Brad pulls a face at Kirstie and says 'not to sound rude Kirstie, but Tristan wants to come up as well so it would be nice for James to come too'. I smile at Brad.

Kirstie then says 'I need to go somewhere quickly'. She rushes out the back door. Brad walks over to me and says 'if you really want to, you can do and check on him now. But see if Tristan wants to go to as its only fair that he knows too'. I smile and walk up to Tristan.

'Tris, wanna check on Con with me?'. Tristan looks at me confused and says 'but Brad said not to'. I sigh and say 'ok, I'll go on my own then'.

I head up the stairs and see Connors bedroom door closed. I knock lightly and there isn't a reply. 'Connor?' I ask. Still no reply. I open the door slowly and see Connor asleep under the covers. I walk up to him and kneel down next to his bed. He is softly snoring, but he seems to look uncomfortable. I get my phone out of my pocket and message Brad saying 'I might not be down soon'. I close my phone and pull the covers up to Connors neck.

I'm really worried about Connor now. He's rarely like this. As I smile, I see his eyes open up to reveal beautiful eyes. I then realise that they are bloodshot from crying and my smile falls a little. 'Con, you ok?' I ask lightly. He peeps over the cover seeing if there was anyone else. 'It's just me. Don't worry'. He looks at me a little scared and asks 'I'm scared James'. I look at him confused and he says 'I don't know what to do'. He then starts to cry again and I find myself climbing onto the bed and cuddling him. His head is pressed against my chest and his arms are wrapped around my body as my arms are keeping his head close to my chest as he cries.

As his cries die down, he lifts his head off my chest and says 'sorry' as he notices he has made my shirt wet. I smile and say 'it's ok Con, it's just a shirt'. He then begins to let go of me and says 'sorry, I erm... wasn't meant to snuggle up to you like erm... that'. I sigh and say 'Connor it's ok, you don't need to keep apologising'. He starts to yawn again and I say 'you ok?'. He sighs and says 'I don't know anymore James'.

I sigh and as Connor yawns again I say 'do you want me to lie with you for a bit?'. He starts to mess with his fingers until he says 'I don't know'. As I turn into my side, Connor turns into his side to and we are staring at each other. Even though his eyes are still bloodshot, he still has gorgeous eyes.

As Connor is drifting off slowly, I wait for him to fall asleep before moving his body to mine. He starts to cuddle into my chest again and soft snores are emerging from his mouth as his chest presses agains my side slowly. I place an arm around him and cuddle him. This feels right for some reason. But I probably shouldn't tell Connor as he might be freaked out by this.

Tristans POV:

As I'm downstairs with Luisa and Lauren, Brad comes walking in and he says 'I thought you would have followed James'. He looks at me confused and I reply with 'I thought we weren't allowed'. Kirstie then walks back in and says 'weren't allowed to do what?'. Brad then says 'play music loud'. Kirstie then looks at me and I notice Brad winking at me, Luisa and Lauren. 'Oh yeah, I wanted to drum on things loudly but Brad told me off'. I smiled as Kirstie then starts to look around. 'Where's James?' Kirstie asks. 'I'm not sure, I'll go have a look upstairs' I respond.

As I head upstairs quietly, I notice Connors bedroom door closed and remembered that James came up here to check on Connor. I walk up to the door slowly and knocked lightly. I waited for about a minute, before james opens the door and asks 'what's up?'. I smile and say 'Kirstie's looking for you, I'll just tell her your on the loo. Is Con ok?'. James smiles and says 'Con is... I'm not sure. I hope he feels a little better now' James responds. James then smiles and I say 'I'll let you 2 do whatever you were doing'. I then walk off smiling.

James' POV:

I look back over to Connor who is still snoring. My shirt is still a little damp. I'm sure he won't mind if I take my shirt off. I lift my shirt over my head and pop it on the end of the bed. Is time, I slide under the covers with Connor and he unconsciously snuggles up to me again. I smile again and think 'this really does feel right'.

(A/N)

I like this chapter because it was good to write, but I don't like it as Connor is sad.
I like Connor when he is happy. Yay!
Anyhoo, I hope you liked this chapter and I hope you will want to carry on reading.
Thank you!