Don't Be Afraid To Ask

*13* NuNew

A few weeks later...

Before I left the hotel and got to the set, I had some time to eat a light breakfast (P'Sky forbade me from eating too much, he said I looked bad, my face was too fat, my cheeks were too plump, I was given a special diet that  I had to follow), so I quickly made myself some fruit and cornflakes with milk, then sat down and started eating while scrolling through the posts of people I followed on Instagram.  I accidentally came across a picture of Saint Suppapong.  Saint co-starred with Zee, Max and Nat on Why R U?  and I had to be honest that they all did very well, especially Saint.

Without thinking, I left Instagram and clicked on the Google search icon, and there I typed ZaintSee, because that's what they were called.  I have seen countless photos of the two together.  I let myself be swallowed up by the depths of the internet, completely forgetting about the food that was left unfinished.  I remembered my conversation with Melanie.

—  Do you know?  Some thought Zee was infatuated with Saint — She said out of the blue one evening while we were sitting in my dorm room studying for the next day's tests.  It was just two days after I found out that I got the lead role in the new series Cutie Pie.  It was late and we decided that Mel would stay with me.  She usually had a few of her things in my closet, and toothpaste and a toothbrush, as well as a whole lot of cosmetics, she always carried with her and she taught me that too.

— Seriously?  Uh, I don't think so, I guess everyone knows Saint is straight.  Anyway, I think Zee is straight too — I stated casually, as if it didn't matter at all and it really didn't matter at the time.  Just typical gossip with a best friend who is interested in the lives of others much more than her own. I was not very happy with the way that Mel was talking about it, for me it was everyone's personal thing: who they like, who they are and who are they atracted to.

— Are you saying that because you don't want to fall in love with him? — She asked slyly.

— No?! — I replied uncertainly in a strangely unnatural and high-pitched voice, and I knew at once that she didn't believe me.

— Oh come on, it's nothing wrong, you have the right to fall in love with whoever you fall in love with, it's kind of not entirely up to you. — Mel patted the back of my hand reassuringly, where I happened to be holding the pen I was taking notes with.  The pen slipped from my hand and fell to the floor.

— Mel...

— No, New, you don't have to explain yourself.  If you don't feel ready to talk about it, that's ok, I'm not here to force you to talk about yourself against your own will.  You'll tell me when you're ready, okay?

Mel annoyed me sometimes, more than once I wanted to play some mean prank on her, but she also understood me best.  As much as she loved to gossip, loved to get information out of people, and was interested in literally everything except learning for school, she too knew that there were certain lines that shouldn't be crossed.  I know I'm lucky to have such a friend.  I smiled at her.

— Thank you.

— No problem, my dear bestie. Just don't cry or you'll make me cry too and smear my makeup — She joked.

I was grateful to her.  I didn't know how it was going to turn out or how I felt.  It was back to the stage when I found Zee to be terrifying, arrogant, and repulsive.  That night I wondered why Mel had mentioned Saint and Zee.  I asked her about it.

— Ouch!  It's simple, you'll be playing with Zee, you look a bit like Saint, I thought I should warn you.  If the fans were right and Zee was infatuated with Saint or even in love with him, then he might start hitting on you as well, and I don't want him to hurt you, I don't want you to be just a substitute for someone he can't have. You deserve better, right? Don't let anyone treat you like this. You deserve to be someone's first choice. You'll meet someone, who will treat you as the best gift from fate, you'll see.