When Zee tries to forget about the past, NuNew becomes his best company and someone who will try to heal Zee's broken heart, meanwhile Saint still regrets what he has done to his best friend. Max and Zee thinks that they won't see Saint ever again b...
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Two months. 8 weeks. 60 days. 1440 hours. 86,400 minutes - that's all we have left together. At least that's what they said. I was scared every morning. At night I fell asleep holding him in my arms. He was afraid too. He often asked me to hold his hand. I saw fear in his eyes, but I also saw resignation, and I couldn't accept it.
No, this can't be real, not my friend, he's too young to die! I couldn't accept it so easily. I had read somewhere that it was best to let a dying person go, but the thought of it, the mere combination of the words "dying" and "First" together in one sentence, gave me chills. I can't count how many times he fell asleep leaning against me, squeezing my hand, and only then did I allow myself a moment of weakness and silent crying. I felt powerless and useless, unable to convince him. Seeing how easily he gave up, how easily he gave up the fight, hurt terribly. I wondered if the fact that First didn't have a family to worry about him might have had something to do with it.
When we came to his house that day, he didn't even have anyone to call to inform about his condition. Only then did I realize how lonely he was. For the last three weeks since then, only Off, Gun and Neo have visited him. Maybe because only they knew. First didn't want to keep it a secret from them but he also didn't say anything to others. He thought that it's his own pain and he doesn't want anyone else to worry about him. But... Did it occured to him that if one day he'll die for real, his fans and his friends would miss him so much? Did he even thought how tough it can be for everyone? He keeps saying that if they don't know, they are not scared, they're not worrying, they live happy life. But they will suffer! They will miss him! They will feel guilty that they didn't notice anything! I will...
— I'll be gone anyway. Don't lie to yourself. And these three were the closest to me, I have to tell them —He stated, asking me to make it easier for him to meet them. All three of them were filming scenes for their new series where Off and Gun were the main couple, so they came together and spent the whole day with us. None of them showed any surprise that First was going to stay with me for the last few weeks.
— It's a good decision, you shouldn't be alone right now — Gun agreed. — We'll come to you as often as possible.
Good decision? What about me? Is it also a good decision for me that I will have to watch my friend, the man who helped me so many times, who always supported me and to whom I could tell everything, who understood me like no one else, day by day becomes getting weaker? Is it a good decision that I will have to look at it? Did any of them think how much I wanted to climb to the top of some mountain and scream so long and loud until my throat was torn? Were any of them even aware of how fucking helpless and useless I felt? There was so little I could do: serve him a cup of tea, buy his favorite ice cream, watch the Formula 1 race with him, which we both loved so much. It wasn't enough because I wanted to take his pain away from him, especially when he had nightmares at night or when he cried out in pain and became irritable and argumentative because the drugs wore off.
