The Memoir of Ickbbar Critic Ted
By King Francis Petty W. and Hector Bomb
God has been cruel to me, I have been killed more times than I can count. If you are reading this then you already know that I am fictional but so do I. My name is Ickbbar Critical Teddy aka Ickbbar Critic Ted and this is my memoir.
As a little child, I was locked out by my parents and tried to escape the winter cold. I wished to be a teddy bear so God took my soul, it was placed in a green and black teddy bear.
This may have been my wish but it was God's first cruelty to me. Yet I didn't know it at the time. That night was transported to another universe and I never saw my parents again. At the time I wished only that I would become a heroic knight like in my fairytales. I got that wish at a terrible price.
I was told by God to defeat Frankie Bombshell. Frankie was a yellow and green hourglass-shaped chubby large-breasted bunny anime girl that was obsessed with God. But instead I ran away to the edge of the universe while Frankie Bombshell explodes the universe.
That is how my childhood crush, Skully died along with all my friends and the entire universe. However this wouldn't be last universe to be destroyed. That day, upon the first universe's destruction, God saw my tears and told me something that changed me forever. That I and everything I would ever know were fictional.
I was so destroyed by this forbidden knowledge that I declared to ruin her life.
Which I have spent my entire life up until that point doing.
I met Buddy Pal Friendly, a twelve foot tall buff yellow dog made out of candy.
I quickly developed romantic feelings for Buddy Pal Friendly, this is when I discovered I was bisexual. I refused him at first. He wanted to be best friends but I wanted something else. Buddy Pal Friendly took this hard and went back into the past to help me defeat Frankie Bombshell. By talking to her, unfortunately he had made a mistake.
I'll never forgive God for letting Frankie Bombshell assault Buddy Pal Friendly by her lack of action.
Unfortunately in that timeline I had also made a mistake, I stabbed Frankie Bombshell in the gut. Therefore killing the clump of cells that would become her and Buddy's child. Which caused her to destroy the first universe again.
I quit being a hero.
Despite this, other heroic characters came about. I still fought the cult Frankie Bombshell had collected. I still fought against the will of a cruel God. Yet I quit being a hero, I was an antihero now.
I founded my own cult that spread the knowledge that the universe was fictional which accidentally caused the cult members to commit suicide.
Which therefore destroyed the entire universe, this had been the 3rd or 4th universe destroyed by this time. Much to God's dismay, therefore ruining everything she had built once again. Once again, accomplishing my goal of ruining her life.
Then I was summoned into Tyler Dream's first universe. Tyler Dream was a short and thin black cat with green eyes. He was the son of the richest man in his universe, Mr. Dream.
This was of course after the 5th universe where everyone was placed in a jail to prevent them from destroying more universes. That universe was destroyed by everyone breaking out of the jail. Then I met Tyler Dream as I had found myself in another universe now run by a different God to whom I almost immediately swore to ruin the life of for being a God.
Then Frankie Bombshell was summoned into Tyler's universe.
She then attempted to use Tyler's villain past against him in order to destroy the universe. This notably failed.
Because of this failure, they had to go to another universe, the so-called Bizarro Universe, where things are just slightly different.
Later on, Frankie Bombshell was redeemed and became Tyler's girlfriend. Despite my own efforts to fight Tyler's evil ways, I later redeemed him and became his boyfriend. Nowadays Tyler Dream has a good relation with his son, Happy Inkwell. He also has become a boyfriend to an entire harem of people. I don't understand this myself as Tyler Dream is a loser of a PROTAGONIST in whatever universe he appears in under the control of his God.
While I'll make a much cooler PROTAGONIST as I got a buff form now.
Although I am still a black and green bear.
Frankie tried blowing up the universe again inside a magical jungle but with my buff bear form and Tyler talking her out of it, we stopped her. I finally stopped her from destroying a universe for once.
