Love After You

Chapter 15

Her mother never mentioned her dating again. And when she stopped, Jessica suddenly considered it a possibility.

She was right; she was young. She had her whole life ahead of her. Jessica wanted a family and a companion. Someone to grow old with. She was never the type of person to flit between lovers. She was a relationship-type person. Rather than go out and find a random guy at a bar and take him home for the evening, she preferred to stay at home and snuggle up on the couch. She desired something genuine, something lasting.

Everyone knew this about her, so no one was surprised when she married Adam so young.

She missed having someone to love and being loved by someone. She missed the texts throughout the day to remind each other how much you cared and missed them. She missed coming home to dinner prepared by Adam, who was dancing in the kitchen as he went. He was always such a free spirit. Even though it hurt, if she couldn't have Adam anymore, maybe now she should consider the possibility of starting to move on.

Like Jake had told her, Adam would want her to be happy.

There was this undeniable pull towards Jake. Which was a big red flag to her. He was the one person on this planet she could never be with; she could never choose him, even though she wanted to.

Jake was like a brother to Adam, and she had always treated him as such. That playful banter they had always shared had suddenly shifted, becoming more flirtatious and heated. It set her insides on fire. When she was near him, she giggled like a schoolgirl, she played nervously with her hair, and she checked that she looked good before she saw him. She never did that with anyone else.

Jake would make the perfect boyfriend. He was such a nice guy, especially to her. He was handsome, ridiculously so. To the point that it wasn't fair for anyone else in the male species. But she couldn't do it. It was too much of a betrayal. She couldn't do it to Adam's memory.

There was something between them, and she needed to bury it. She needed to squash it like a bug, killing it once and for all. She still needed him in her life for reasons she couldn't quite explain, but the romance needed to go.

So she did the next best thing that she could think of. She downloaded a dating app.

The girls at work were going on about this certain one, "Love at first swipe," so she decided to check it out for herself. There was no harm in that, was there? Her phone was constantly pinging with messages from random men and match notifications. She felt flattered. Did all these guys really find her attractive? Did they all read her bio and think that she sounded like a match? Maybe dating wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.

There were a couple of men who didn't just send a dick picture right away, so after talking to one of them for a couple of weeks, she decided to go for it.

The date started off well. He picked her up on time, dressed smartly, and looked like his profile picture (bonus). But when she got in the car, she felt off. He constantly called her love, asking her silly questions, finding her hobbies and interests stupid, and waving them off as if they meant nothing before bragging about his job. He was a lawyer, which he mentioned only about a million times in 4 hours. He spoke to her like he was above her. And she hated it.

She kept trying to ignore it, but when he decided to order her a salad without even asking what she wanted, it was the final straw. She stood up and left without even so much as a goodbye.

That was dickhead number one.

The next guy she dated wasn't much better. She tried to ignore the way he'd constantly adjusted himself, lowering his hands to his crotch, gripping hard, and pulling. Perhaps he was simply well endowed down below; perhaps he wore the wrong type of boxers that morning. But when he brought his hands up and sniffed those fingers, she fled.