Love After You

Chapter 18

Jess went to bed fairly early that evening. They had danced for a long time, and she was amazed at how lovely it felt to be held in that way. No one had danced with her like that since Adam. She realised as they danced that the last time she was held like this was most likely on her wedding day. She had forgotten how pleasant it was. When she tilted her head back and saw Jake's face staring down at her instead of Adams', her stomach knotted, and she pushed herself away to sit back down. The wave of guilt crashed over her.

She found she was exhausted by 10 p.m. and made her way to bed. Jake told her he would stay up for a little while longer, so she went to bed alone.

After changing, she lay in bed, waiting for sleep to find her. Instead, she tossed and turned for what felt like hours. The pillow didn't fit her head quite right, and the blanket was a little bit too thick.

Eventually, she heard Jake at the door. He opened it quietly, and she squeezed her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. She didn't want to admit that she was still awake.

She could hear him moving around the room and the sound of wood grinding as he pulled open the chest of drawers to get his pyjamas.

She opened her eyes.

She could just make out the dark silhouette of his body as he pulled his top over his head. His back arched as he leaned forward to pull his trousers down.

She should close her eyes; she knew it was wrong to watch. But she couldn't do it. He was like a statue, sculpted to perfection. Even in the darkness, she could see the contours of his muscles and the way they moved as he moved; his body was in perfect harmony.

He put his new clothes on, and Jess closed her eyes again as he made his way to the bed.

She rolled into him involuntarily, as he sat on the edge, plumping his pillow before lying back with a sigh. Jess tried her best not to react, not to breathe him in, not to enjoy the way her body seemed to pull toward him like they were magnets. But she did love it; she loved it all. And she craved more.

She stayed there for a while before she heard his breathing grow slower and deeper, letting little soft snores escape his mouth before she opened her eyes to look at him.

She wished she could fall asleep that easily.

He looked so peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. His arm was under his head. His face was completely calm. He didn't have a single freckle, not a single beauty mark. He just had a thin layer of stubble on his chin. Some people didn't like beards, but she liked them; it really suited him.

Before she could stop herself, she rolled further into him. Her hand resting on his stomach, she felt the slow ups and downs of his breaths as her head tucked in between his neck and arm. She loved that she fit so perfectly there, like his body was made just for her.

Listening to his deep and steady breaths soothed her, and soon she found sleep.

***

In the morning, she woke up with Jake's arm wrapped tightly around her. Her leg was up over his. She fit him perfectly, like her puzzle piece was his match. She felt him stir under her, and she glanced up. Meeting those stormy eyes made her pulse pick up its pace.

His expression was soft, his eyes a little hazy as he looked down at her. "Good morning." He mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

He looked so good in the morning. His hair was everywhere, his eyes hooded and sleepy. She wanted to trace the line of his jaw and feel his stubble beneath her fingertips.

Would he mind?

"Morning," she mumbled back, and forced herself to move away, acutely aware of how close she was to him. She didn't want to move, but she had to.