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Usually never cry at all I would say I'm pretty tough But it's been a couple weeks now And I still feel stuck in my lungs And usually I go out on nights And not think of you once But if they start playin' that song I can't help but to think about us, oh Really thought I'd be done with the hardest part When I pulled myself out of your arms Wish I knew that was only the start And now I'm fallin' apart 'cause Last night for the very first time You didn't even try to call Oh, I won't lie, I thought I might die I couldn't even sleep at all And maybe I'll get used to it (ah, ah) But right now I just feel like shit (ah, ah) Oh, oh So I kissed somebody else Just to see how it felt But all that was goin' through my brain Was your hands around my waist You know how to do it so well Really thought I was done with the hardest part When I pulled myself out of your arms Wish I knew that was only the start And now I'm fallin' apart 'cause Last night for the very first time You didn't even try to call (you didn't even try to call) Oh, I won't lie, I thought I might die I couldn't even sleep at all And maybe I'll get used to it (ah, ah) But right now I just feel like shit (ah, ah) Oh, oh Now if I get a little too drunk I'll start thinkin', "What if you were the one?" I know that the damage is done And I still have the shirt that you wore When we first met, it's there on the floor I might kick it under the bed Hopin' that I could forget that Last night for the very first time You didn't even try to call Oh, I won't lie, I thought I might die I couldn't even sleep at all And maybe I'll get used to it (ah, ah) But right now I just feel like shit (ah, ah) Oh, oh
two weeks after third person
brooke had been living in los angeles for two weeks. two weeks since she had driven away from matt, from boston, and everything she ever knew. she was enjoying her new start, writing songs in her notebooks, and singing for labels in hopes to be signed. however, it was lonely. she missed how chris and her constantly bickered, for he knew just how to push her buttons. she missed the talks her and nick would have, and she missed matt, and all they had, and it especially hurt the first night her phone didn't ring.
every night since she had left, matt called her. she answered once, needing to talk to him, just as much as he needed her. other than boring small talk, the majority of the call was a comfortable silence, just enjoying knowing that the others presence was there.
she didn't think it would hurt as bad as it did when matt didn't call her. when he called, she knew he was still thinking about her, and although she watched it ring most nights, it was relieving in a way. but that thursday night, once it reached three a.m and brooke knew for sure matt wasn't going to call her, she couldn't help but cry. she thought the hardest part of it all would be walking away after the breakup, walking away after their final kiss. but for some reason, this seemed to be just as hard.
the next night, brooke needed a distraction. one of her los angeles colleagues invited her to a party, in which at first she had no intentions of going, but after last night's events, she needed something to take her mind off it. while there, brooke kissed someone, she didn't even know his name, nor did she care to know it.
the only thing going through her brain was how awful it was in comparison to matt.
going home that night, she'd never felt worse. she was living her dreams, but without the one she wanted to be living them with.
