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I missed your 21st birthday I've been up at home Almost tried to call you, don't know if I should Hate to picture you half-drunk, happy Hate to think you went out without me I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you I would Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could I still haven't heard from your family But you said your mom always loved me Sometimes I go blurry-eyed Small talk and you tell me that you're on fire Lights on and it's black and white, I couldn't stay forever I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue You'd be the love of my life when I was young When the night is over Don't call me up I'm already under I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again I'll be the love of your life inside your head When the night is over Don't call me up I'm already under Audrey said she saw you out past twelve o'clock Just because you're hurting doesn't mean I'm not If it doesn't go away by the time I turn thirty I made a mistake and I'll tell you I'm sorry "Sorry" Sometimes I go blurry-eyed Small talk and you tell me that you're on fire Lights on and it's black and white, I couldn't stay forever I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue You'd be the love of my life when I was young When the night is over Don't call me up I'm already under I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again I'll be the love of your life inside your head When the night is over Don't call me up I'm already under
three years after
it was august 1st, 2024.
brooke had messaged nick and chris, wishing them a happy birthday. she felt terrible not going to the party they were having, but she didn't want to see matt. she knew he didn't want to see her, for he made that perfectly clear. brooke had hurt him enough, she didn't need to ruin his twenty first birthday.
she stayed up all night, drinking alone. the girl wasn't one to drink much, but she needed it to pass the time. there were multiple times when she almost called him, simply to wish him a happy birthday, but she didn't. she hated thinking that he was with his best friends, half-drunk, and happy. matt was probably having the time of his life, and she hated thinking about him having fun without her. brooke never thought she would miss her best friend's twenty first birthday.
brooke knew matt blamed her. he blamed her for hurting him, for giving up on them. if she were him, she would be doing the same thing. brooke couldn't be angry at him no matter how much she wanted to. the girl wished deep down that he saw it coming and had prepared himself, which in a way he did, but brooke didn't know that. as much as matt wanted them to work out, as soon as she mentioned moving he started thinking the worst.
a week after matt's birthday, brooke's friend audrey messaged her, saying that she was at the same bar as matt. it was past midnight, which could only mean matt was hurting. if he was drinking alone, something was wrong.
but it wasn't brooke's place to say anything. that was the old matt, the matt she used to know.
right then, brooke decided if her feelings didn't go away by the time she turned thirty, that she had made a mistake. she missed matt, yes, but she still had her whole life ahead of her. if it wasn't better in nine years, then matt was certainly the one for her, and brooke had let the best thing that happened to her walk away.
for now, he'll be the love of her life when she was young.
and for him, she'll be the love of his life inside his head.
