Always ✔︎

Chapter 14

•Chase's POV•
*I recommend Listening to "how do I say goodbye" by Dean Lewis while reading*

Sunday, tomorrow, Nana's funeral.

It's going to be one of the hardest days of my life, I'm not ready to say goodbye because when I do it means it's real and she's not going to come back.

I'm not going to hear her laugh again or eat her perfect sugar cookies on Christmas morning anymore.

My Nana, she was the perfect grandma in more ways than anyone possible.

Everything she cooked tasted like heaven and her hugs made you feel more loved and safe than anything, she always knew just what to say to make anyone feel better.

I loved her with my whole heart, No, I love her with my whole heart.

She will always hold a special place in my heart.

I'm not ready for tomorrow.

~~

The day I've been trying to hold off is here, the funeral is at 1:00 today, and it's currently 9:30 I haven't been able to get myself out of bed without turning into a sobbing mess and quite frankly I don't want to get up and face reality just yet.

Someone knocks softly on my door, "Mmhm" I mumble.

"Can I come in?" My mom's voice comes through the other side of my door.

"Yeah" I reply.

"How are you doing?" She asks sitting on my bed, her eyes are red and puffy saying she has been crying.

I can't form the words to say how I'm feeling I just let out a loud sob and continue crying.

"Ohh my baby come here." She says leaning down to hug me.

"I'm so sorry baby," she says holding me close to her as we both cry.

"You don't have to come to the funeral we can have a smaller one for just us if you want, you can do whatever makes you feel better." She mumbles into my hair where her head is.

"It's fine I want to be there for nana, she needs a proper goodby-" I can't finish that word I just break out into more tears.

"Yes but a good goodbye doesn't need to be public or even in front of just us, it can be just you and nana.

~~

I changed into the black suit I had laying on my mattress waiting for me.

I walk down to the kitchen to see the rest of my family sitting around the island, Sophie and mom are crying, my dad looks sad which is more than usual and my papa is eating a price of toast with peanut butter on it he just looks really tired.

"Hey, papa," I say giving him a big hug. As everyone else heads out to the car giving us a minute.

"Hey, how are you doing?" he asks seeing my eyes.

"Me? How are you doing?" I ask back slightly shocked at how normal he is.

"I'm not thinking about the sad right now, we need to focus on the good, like being married for 75 wonderful years, I've loved her enough to fill 10 lifetimes, and I'm thankful for the time I got with her I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"She's in the stars now looking out for us, all we can do now is honour her memory and make her proud," he says, his eyes shiny from the tears that had formed in them.

"I miss her," I say breaking down into his arms again.

"So do I more than anything," he says "she wanted you to have this," he says reaching into his pocket and grabbing a small black bag.