if you fall for me...

rules: 1) don't touch Styxx things

my brother pined me on the bed. my mind was spinning. i knew what was happening. that much was obvious. my brother was being possessive and he was going to rape me. my family was fucked up, fucked up beyond what i knew. i heard his pants unzip. i started to scream. my other brothers and sisters walked by, but they didn't so much as glance my way. all of my family didn't care, that whats so fucked up about them.

"shut up!" he smacked me. i didn't feel it. there was no pleasure in this. i didn't want this. i didn't to be abused this way. this was the bad way, there was no love, no emotion, just force. my body finally registered what was happening. i began to fight, biting him in the face, and pulling his hair. that was all i could do. i am not strong. I'm a normal teenage girl that has more endurance then the average boy. other then that, i was weak. "stop it now!" he punched me in the face. 

for a moment i blacked out. i had pulled myself out of what was happening. what are you doing Silence? my inner self spoke. are you really just going to lay there and take it? do you really want this to end like last time? in the emptiness of the black space that i sat in, i wandered. my inner self was right. this wasn't something that would pass easily. i was alone in this. you have to fight, really fight this time. with words, and fists. 

"but i cant!" i screamed at myself. i must have been going crazy now. "he is stronger then me! if i could just push him off of me then i would have! if you know a fucking what to get the dick face man off of me then tell me!" it was silent. just like my name, there was always nothing to say. you know what to do Silence, you always have. so stop being a whiny bitch and do something about it.  i gasped. my inner self just called me a whiny bitch. my anger pecked. "who the hell are you calling a whiny bitch, you bitch!"  i stopped to think about what i just said. "I'm going to turn into a crazy bitch like mom..."  my inner self snickered and i came back to the real world. my brother was pulling open my shirt.

"no!" i screamed. "someone please!" i fought back harder. "get the fuck off of me you disgusting bastard!" my mind was spinning on what i should do. what were my options? what would get him to let go of me faster? i couldn't kick him in the balls because he had my legs trapped. "stop!" he was ripping off my clothes. "STYXX!" i screamed at the top of my lungs. i don't know why i called out his name, it was just a reaction. he was the only one that i thought would even think to help me.

"you know, most brothers slap their sisters and tell them to break it off with their guy." Styxx appeared in the door. my brother was shocked. "but you? that's just gross. i want to do that to her, you know." he walked closer to us. "but know i cant, because it will scare her in a bad way." i saw the anger in his green eyes. my body trembled in a bad way. i was scared of this Styxx. he was no longer human. "to bad, i will have to do something else now. thanks a lot." next thing i knew, my brother was crashing through the window. he fell fast with a thud.

"that makes me sick. to have someone else touch what is mine." Styxx was really pissed. his words were no longer painfully sweet to me, they burned like acid. i wasn't his girlfriend, i was an object. all the happiness that was once there from the simple word, 'mine' was gone. "Silence, get up." he looked at me with angry green eyes. i tried to stand up, but i couldn't. i started to cry. "shut up!" he yelled. the sudden out burst made me jump and i cried out louder.

"stop..." his words died out. there was something on the tip of his tongue. Styxx became cross with emotions. he didn't like what he was feeling. "Silence..." he kneeled in front of me. his big cold hands got hot as they held mine. all the anger and evil that oozed off of him was gone. "don't cry, i dont like these tears on you." his faced twisted, sickened by his own words. "anyone else, i would enjoy this but you," he leaned into me, licking the tears from my cheek. "i don't like it. they should be sweet, like the taste of your lips." he kissed me.

even scared out of my mind, i couldn't defy his wishes. the friction of his soft cold lips made everything go away. my mind spiraled in between lust, fear, and sanity. Styxx was to much like a bad drug when he kisses me. i hate it, and i love it. my mind is filled with Styxx. with his touch. with his taste. with his scent. it was as if Styxx was a demon, and i was just an unlucky girl that caught his eye. the sad thing was, i didn't really mind.

~~~~ three days later ~~~~

my brother died when he fell. it turns out his name was, Jimmy Allens. he was 27, and the father of six very unwanted, and very uncared for kids. the children didn't cry for their dead father. the baby mama's only fought over who got what. actually, no one cried for Jimmy Allens. no one truly cared for him. i sighed. i cared for Jimmy Allens a little bit, because he was my brother, even if i didn't know his name. i took care of all my siblings when they were hurt or in trouble.

Styxx only smirked, because he was the one that killed him. i cant say that i am all that scared of Styxx anymore then the day we met. Jimmy Allens tried to rape me. Jimmy Allens allowed his friend to rape me. Jimmy Allens is just a man that i called my brother. Jimmy Allens meant nothing to me. Styxx Dybbuk is the most important thing in my life. i may have not fallen for him, but he is the drug that makes me want more.

"Silence, just realise one thing." Styxx pulled me into his chest. "as long as your mine, no one can touch you the way i do." i looked up into his glowing green eyes. dark shadows on sinister plans danced behind them. "you are mine, Silence, and no one can touch my things do you understand?" i felt him pull me in close. someone sounds like a spoiled little brat, but i can live with it, for now.

"yeah... i understand."